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Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Don't Forget To Vote (Semifinal 2)

Image description: Cover of the book Snow Crash
A figure in front of a cyber landscape holding a sword.
What is the best modern science fiction book or series?  

Hopefully, in addition to Ima Lister's completely unexpected out-of-the-park hit (which went up late in the day, so you should check it out if you haven't) we get something juicy up for you on a flight from one coast to the other of the United States (a flight from Oakland to Washington D.C. which is long enough to justify paying for internet) where I am going to visit my mom, long estranged this last year while I dealt with the health of loved ones. However the rest of this week may have a bit of jazz hands since in addition to the obligatory good son visit, I am dealing with the absolute last bits of Move 2.0 (my king sized mattress and the last of unpacking) and packing for said trip. There's also no guest post lined up for Thursday as life has hit all my guest bloggers with the life stick as enthusiastically as it has hit me.

Point being....

Please don't forget to vote in our current semifinal round for best modern science fiction. This poll will be up until early next week, but then we have to get on with the final round that will last out September.

Everyone will get five votes (5). The top five names will go on to the final round. Before you simply vote for your favorite four, consider that, as there is no ranking of those four votes; each vote beyond one dilutes the power of your choices a little more. So if you have a genuine favorite–or pair of favorites–it's better to use as few votes as possible.

The poll itself is on the left side, at the bottom of the side menus.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Six Ways to Not Actually Write

Hi,

Ima Lister here. Today I have a list for everyone who wants to be a writer but doesn't actually want to write. And I'm pretty sure that's going to be a very useful list in this community!

By now you’ve started to suspect the truth: writing is work, and dreaming about just being a writer is a whole lot easier. Maybe you’re running out of things to do that aren’t writing. Perhaps you’ve even found yourself sitting in front of your computer and starting to think of sentences.
I'm here to help!

What is the point of dreaming of groupie threesomes, fame, and untold wealth if it’s just going to come with a 60-hour-a-week price tag and years of struggling in obscurity–if you ever make it at all? What is the point of imagining success if you actually have to risk failure to get there?

 If this is your dilemma (and you just don't really actually like the writing itself), never fear, this list is for you!

1- Writing can wait:

Post that thing on Facebook that’ll get you into a huge political debate. Your day just got interesting! Did a new season of House of Cards just drop on Netflix? Can you say binge watch? Friends heading out for a night of debauchery that won’t truly be over until the hangover wears off….the day AFTER tomorrow? Rock rock on Cheat Commando! New video game came out? Play it till your eyes bleed. Or surely your favorite MMO has some kind of special event going on (or coming up that you need to prepare for). Really the possibilities are endless. And if you’re thinking of being a writer, you surely have the creativity to come up with even more things that aren’t writing. Zero moderation!

Punchline: most writers do some of these things. They’re an easily glamoured lot with an insatiable taste for art and entertainment. Almost all have have blown an entire day watching Daredevil or reading the current author they can’t get enough of. You can indignantly point to them and rationalize any level of procrastination–even “indefinite.” 

The only difference is eventually they put down the distractions and write (or more likely did the writing before they “earned” some relaxation time in front of their distraction), while all you have to do is just keep repeating step one over and over again, and never really get around to the writing.

Look, it’s really simple. If you make the choice to write, you’ve taken the first step. You might never be published, read, appreciated, paid, but you’ll never even have to mess around with that risk of rejection or phenomenal work if you never actually do the writing in the first place. If you just don’t ever do it, it will never get done.

So why even bother with the other steps of avoiding work when all you really have to do is never quite get around to it.

2- Never Triage Your Life

Priorities. Meh. Priorities are for REAL writers.

You can do it all. Always.

Well, you can't do it ALL, but guess what slides quite easily to the back burner? Did you guess writing? Give yourself a cookie.

Do not worry about trying to consider your time as a limited resource and your decisions about what to do to do with that time to require forethought and conscious examination of priorities.

Take that promotion even if it comes with ten more hours a week of work. Join that raiding guild. Get involved with that long distance relationship who wants to Skype every night and do no less that a weekend a month. Commit a 20-hour period (from prep through recovery) each week to live action role playing. Volunteer to teach impoverished youth. Live life with no limits. No, don’t pick any one of these things–that’s something those working writers would do, picking the most important one or two that can fit into their life with their writing time. Pick them all!

Being a dreamer means never having to say no. If you can come up with any reason that any of these things might be good, ever, then you should keep adding to your plate and be perfectly justified in getting snotty with anyone who thinks you might need to pare down your life. Keep doing this until there’s no possible room left for writing. Then you can dream indefinitely and always be too busy to do any actual work.

Who the hell says "No, I can't. I have to write"?   Writers. That's who.

3- Never Stick With Anything

Finishing a single project is a lot of work. And I don’t just mean a montage of you brewing coffee, you clacking away Bruce Almighty style, and bam it’s done. I mean, it's a LOT of work. Especially when you hit that point where you realize you have to flesh out your “golden diapers” idea and couple of sweet, epic scenes you’ve envisioned with a beginning a middle and an end, details you haven’t thought of yet, character development, and hours worth of effort (if we’re talking about a novel, and you’re pretty fucking determined, about 2000 hours).

Again there is an elegant beauty here. Writers regularly advise that it’s okay to have a few irons in the fire, and if you can conveniently skip the part where most of them are talking about having a steady writing gig (like a blog) and maybe a short and a long work in progress as well as basically ignore how often those same writers emphasize how important it is to finish things you start, you can just keep adding more “irons to the fire” and never really dealing with the fact that you start a lot of shit you are never going to finish. Pretty soon you have fifty or sixty “Chapter 1”s and haven’t actually done any work in years.

I mean even that expression is a blacksmith allusion about having one iron heating up while you pound out something else, but what blacksmith didn’t avoid a little work by adding fifteen, twenty, thirty irons to their fire so that, even according to physics, none of them could get hot enough? The blacksmiths that actually were blacksmiths, that’s who. ("What's that? The manor lord wants his broadsword before the crusade leaves tomorrow? Well as you can CLEARLY see, the irons aren't hot enough yet.")

But at least you can get in on that sweet blacksmith dreamer action where you only imagine yourself with the beefy right arm and the vengeful Spaniards banging at your door.


4- Wait for The Perfect Situation

A great writerly-sounding way to not do any work is to dress up your procrastination in little formal wear and walk it around town like it’s something other than just run-of-the-mill procrastination. It’s like having a toy poodle in a hoop skirt or a toddler wearing a tuxedo. It just never gets old!

Remember do NOT sit down whether you’re feeling it or not–you have to be in the right mood to write (even if that mood comes but once every month or two). It has to be right time of the day or the Feng shui of your whole creative flow will be disrupted more than a living room without a little waterfall in it. Tell people you can’t get started until the sewing room is converted into an office. Then you can’t get started until you get that great desk. Then you need a MacBook Pro, but as soon as you have the money for that you are going to get started. (“Excuse me while I out bid this asshole trying to snipe me for this limited-edition Avengers helicarrier.”) Then you can’t get started until you have the right music. Then you can’t get started until you have that particular four hours set aside every single day. Then you can’t get started until you’re feeling inspired, which might require seeing that movie you watched the first time you had the idea and getting a little drunk—better make a night of it. Basically this can just go on forever if you want it to. (There is a wonderful list of excuses [over here]. All you have to do is tweak them ever so slightly so that you believe them yourself.)

Writers, of course, love special desks and music and inspiration and dedicated time each day, but you’ll find them longhand gutting out a sentence on the floor of the laundry room for the ten minutes their shirts take to dry if you take all those things away. But for you, that's just unnecessary work. The more pretentious you can be about what you need before you get started, the longer you can put off any real effort.

5- Hang on to Everything

Going back to the drawing board is a lot of work. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever kill your darlings.

Whether it is a character who doesn't quite fit, a scene that's doing nothing, or just that work that you wrote back in high school that for some reason won't gel, don't give up. No matter how much it isn't working, you just keep poking at it. Remember, everything you ever write should be slated for eventual publication, and that means that you never give up on anything.

See, if you put that in a drawer for a few years (or better yet call it excellent writing practice and move on), you have to actually do some serious work of coming up with something totally new. Writing drafts is tough.

On the other hand, if you hang onto that old work, you give yourself a never ending "retooling" license. You can always be revising that one work. Going back and noodling that one scene. Combine this with not finishing anything and you can have actual WRITING SESSIONS where you don't really actually do any work!

How fucking awesome is that, you would-be writer, you!

6- Rough Draft? More Like Perfect Draft!

If you start thinking that getting it out onto the page is the vital first step and that you'll fix things on revision, you are going to end up just putting in a MONUMENTAL amount of work. What you need to do is get that shit perfect in one sentence. If you start respecting how messy the writing process is, it won't be long before you're working a lot more than you ever thought possible and cutting way into your dreams of Manhattan penthouses and threesomes.

(Not a lot of people know this, but Van Gogh's Starry Night was painted in one stroke. He just went SLURRRRRP! BAM!  That's what makes it amazeballs. Not some sense of effort that went into it.)

Let me explain why this is genius. Because it's so genius, it's double genius. With genius sauce.

If you're not ready to trust the process and resign yourself to all the work of revision, you will not only avoid all those messy drafts that you don't need. You will also sit paralyzed in front of the page (or computer) unable to write a single word for fear that it isn't perfect.

So not only will you not work on the mucky gluck of revision if you finish this draft, you're so worried about being perfect that you'll never get the damned draft done in the first place. Double whammy not-work. Boo yah!

Shutting the fuck up and writing is a lot of work at the end of the day, but if you give ear to every distraction, self-doubt, and frustration, you won't ever really have to. Then you can want to be a writer and dream of how your life will be so much better when you achieve writer success without having to do the "lots of fucking work" part that so many writers seem to incessantly extol. If you use this list, you even have the tools with which to be righteously indignant if someone does suggest that your formula for success is missing a little bit of elbow grease.

If you're enjoying this blog, and would like to see more articles like this one, the writer is a guy with a rent and insurance to pay who would love to spend more time writing. Please consider contributing to My Patreon. As little as $12 a year (only one single less-than-a-cup-of-coffee dollar a month) will get you in on backchannel conversations, patron-only polls, and my special ear when I ask for advice about future projects or blog changes.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Best Modern Sci-Fi Book/Series (Semifinal 2)


What is the best modern science fiction book or series?

Eleven more semifinal choices. And the second eleven choices might even be harder to pick from than the first eleven were.  

Remember you may use any criteria you wish for "best" from most fun to most compelling to best written.

This semifinal poll will be up until late next week. Then we'll run the finals to the end of September.

Everyone will get five votes (5). The top five names of each poll will go on to the final round. Before you simply vote for your favorite five, consider that, as there is no ranking of those votes; each vote beyond one dilutes the power of your choices a little more. So if you have a genuine favorite–or pair of favorites–it's better to use as few votes as possible.

The poll itself is on the left side, at the bottom of the side menus.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Best Modern Sci-Fi (Semifinal Results)

Just a quick post of the first semifinal results. Tomorrow the second semifinals will go up. Because of the three way tie for fifth place, all the three-vote results will be going on to the finals.

Results in text form below.


The Martian - Weir 25 35.21% 35.21%
The Vorkosigan Saga - Bujold 22 30.99% 30.99%
The Expanse Series - Corey 6 8.45% 8.45%
Station Eleven - Mandel 5 7.04% 7.04%
The City & the City - MiƩville 3 4.23% 4.23%
Red Rising Trilogy - Brown 3 4.23% 4.23%
Red/Green/Blue Mars - Robinson 3 4.23% 4.23%
Nightdawn Trilogy - Hamilton 2 2.82% 2.82%
Otherland - Williams 1 1.41% 1.41%
Pay me, Bug! - Wright 1 1.41% 1.41%
Spots the Space Marine - Hogarth 0 0% 0%

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Three Stories From The Train

Image description: old rickety looking tracks with caption:
"Ride the train, it will be fun they said."
I love the train. I love the time to myself to read and think and write.  I would probably take trains all kinds of places around the country if I didn't have a Princess Mononoke to care for. It's a fun way to travel and if you don't mind taking a day or three to arrive, it's really quite lovely. It's taken discovering trains these past couple of years to make me realize how much of my aversion to travel has more to do with the fact that everything about flying is unpleasant.

Here are three stories from my adventures coming to Denver aboard an Amtrak train.

Story number 1:  

This one contains much conjecture. Maybe nothing happened. Maybe everything was above board. But I tend to pick up on people's body language–sometimes knowing what they're feeling before they realize it. (Unless they're hitting on ME, but the Brecheen inversion principle* is not what this post is about.)

When you eat in the dining car (which is part of the roomette price) they make you sit in groups of four. So last night I was across from a Scottish couple. I never got whether they were married, but they lived together, and had gotten to the point in cohabitation where they were using communal farm land in the city, a twenty minute drive from their house.

The guy next to me was from Los Angeles and had been doing a tour of hiking locations. Not just day hikes or anything but the real stuff with the hundred pound packs and the camping and junk. He shared a story about bringing 7000 calories a day on a hike into Mt. Shasta but only being able to stomach 1200 because appetite suppression is one of the first symptoms of altitude sickness. Of course once you're not eating enough, you can get really sick, so it was quite an adventure trying to force himself to eat enough to not lose two pounds a day.

The hiker and the woman from the Scottish couple seemed pretty into each other. I don't really mean "seemed" or "pretty," but one thing I've learned over the years of observing people closely (both with the intention of bettering my writing descriptions as well as due to the ultra-sensitive emotional empathy that comes being an abuse survivor) is that playing Sherlock Holmes/House M.D. with people's body language and telling them what they're feeling is obnoxious enough to point out even when one is right. Also it is wrong–or embarrassing enough that people deny it and get pissed off–JUST enough to be unreliable (along with a certain number of people who throw off "wrong" cues for various reason), so I try not to assume. But there were long glances turning down when one caught the other staring. She was playing with her hair. Extra laughter at his not that funny jokes. She asked him enough questions that she was either very into hiking or very into him.

I was the only one not drinking, and I excused myself after the cinnamon crust cheesecake and the three of them stayed talking. Later when I went back to get a soda, I saw they had moved to the lounge (and gotten at least one more round).

Around 3am (maybe six hours after dinner ended) we pulled into Salt Lake City, and I happened to wake up because it was the stop of a number of people around me. I knew we had a few minutes to detrain and get some fresh air (part of that is story #2) But the platform wasn't long enough to open up all the sleeper cars, I guess, and only the coach cars were actually being opened up. So I walked through the lounge on my way to the coach car and found the woman and hiker guy were still up. No sign of the third guy. They were speaking in hushed tones and leaning in to each other. That was the last I saw of them that night.

I can't tell you what happened. But the next morning at a smoke break in Grand Junction (where I got my power cord at Doug's Depot) the Scottish couple had a Berlin Wall of body language between them.

I never saw the hiker again.

I'm me, so I thought of all sorts of stories that fit what I observed. Possessive guy has dudebro fit that "his woman" stayed out past when he thought was appropriate even though all she did was talk. A flirty night that ended with hiker guy making a pass and when she told her partner, he blamed her for it. Outright infidelity and a steamy train encounter that would be a lot less steamy and a lot more logistical nightmare if you knew how small the roomettes were. Maybe an approved non-monogamous liaison, but some line got crossed like "be back by breakfast."

I finally grew attached to the following story though it is probably the least plausible: that after a half a dozen two-girl threesomes all up and down Scotland and wherever they visited, each in which the guy promised he would be totally fine if she wanted to do one with two guys one day, she finally found a guy she was into. They tried to do all get busy but the room is pretty implausible for two, never-mind three, and so she asked him if she could just be alone with the hiker for a few minutes and then he'd get a turn, but that made things weird, and the Scottish guy called the whole thing off. She found that deeply uncool given all the threesomes they'd had with her old sorority sisters and high school friends. So at Grand Junction she was still seething.

Anyway, I hope they're all better for it. But from what I saw, that would only happen if and when they came through a tunnel of much less happy emotions.

*The Brecheen Inversion Principle posits that Chris will always be wrong about whether or not someone has even the slightest romantic interest in him, even if attempting to account for the Brecheen Inversion Principle.

Story number 2:

In which I damned near spent 24 hours wandering around Salt Lake City looking for something to do.


So they let you off the train every few stops. People who smoke use the opportunity to chain two or three cigs down as fast as possible. Sometimes it's for a few minutes, but if they're running ahead they won't leave before scheduled departure, so sometimes you get fifteen or twenty minutes. In fact, we were early enough getting into Denver that some of the folks who were going on to Chicago still got off with me got to do some shopping because they had over an hour to be back.

In Salt Lake City I was still trying to get a power cord for my phone, and I wondered if there might be a store or something inside the train station. Or maybe one of those tricked out vending machines that actually carries electronics accessories like you see in airports these days.

"How long do we have?" I asked my car's assistant.

"We pull out at three ten," he said. "With or without you."

I looked at my watch: it was only 2:05. "We got here early!" I said.

In what should have been a clue to me that I was about to fuck up royally, he looked at me like I'd gone nuts.

I took off towards the depot at a brisk clip passing the last of the Salt Lake City passengers boarding and headed away from the platform. If you've never been to Salt Lake City's Amtrak station, it is not adjacent to the platform, but is about 75 meters or so walk away and across another set of tracks. As I walked up to the door, I saw the vending machines had something more than just candy bars and sodas and I felt my heart leap.

That's when I heard the whistle and the "All Aboard," the conductor yelled.

My blood froze. WHAT? I should have had an hour left. I had to cross back in what was probably about 15 seconds. The "all aboard" is generally a formality. Everyone but that one desperate smoker grabbing that last straggling puff is on the train by the time they even say it.

So I turned. And I ran. And I waved my arms and cried out "Wait!" like a tourist with no shame.

Of course seasoned travelers have already figured out what I messed up.

Fortunately, the conductor had been keeping half an eye on me. And as I came chuffing back he gave me the "I'm waiting but totally annoyed at you" wave.

"What were you thinking?" he asked as I came up and jumped on.

"The guy said three ten." I said. "I thought I had like an hour."

The conductor shook his head, I couldn't see his eyes because he was scanning the platform for anyone more clueless than me, but I could hear him rolling his eyes. "You crossed a time zone when we left Nevada. It IS three ten."

Oh right! That thing my phone (and my watch that is usually hooked up to it) just normally take care of for me couldn't happen because my phone couldn't be charged.

So I walked back to my room through like eight train cars feeling sheepish, but glad that I didn't have to find a hotel in Salt Lake City and try to schedule a way to get myself the rest of the way to Denver.

Story Number 3:

Friday at lunch I got matched up with a whole new group of three other passengers, and they seemed less interested in letting me just read my book. One was kind of getting into one of those "only STEM degrees have merit" sort of rants. (One downside of the train is that people do not follow the conventional etiquette about what topics to avoid in mixed company.) He asked me if I had a degree.

"Yeah," I said. "English. Creative writing."

"Oh yeah," he said. "What did you do with that?"

"I'm a writer," I said, enjoying the feel of being able to answer that.

That only got me a few seconds though from the STEM-only guy. "No, I mean like what do you do for a living."

"Actually, I write," I said.

"Is it creative writing?" he asked.

"Yeah, it is," I said to him. "Look, I know what you're trying to ask me, and I do some teaching and some child care gigs, but over half my income comes from creative writing." I shrugged. "I really am a writer."

"So you like, write books?" he asked.

"Sort of," I said. "I have a blog, and it's popular enough that I was able to launch a Kickstarter to get an advance on my first book."

"What's your blog about?" he asked, and I wondered if he wasn't still trying to get me to admit that I sold out long ago and made money using my liberal arts degree to write about malamute mating patterns under geothermic stress conditions or something.

"It's about writing mostly," I said. "But I have all these weird characters and personas through which I do the actual writing. Even the main voice isn't really me, exactly. And I put up some of my fiction, and talk about the things that happen to me sometimes."

"What's it called?"

"Writing About Writing."

That's when the woman across from me got excited. "Oh my god, I've READ that! It's really funny."

"Really?" I asked.

She looked a little sheepish. "I've only read a couple of articles. Sorry! You had one about what the author meant that a fellow teacher friend shared with me, and I saw something from a few friends about you helping some woman on BART. I think there was one more I saw, but I can't remember it. I don't follow it or anything."

Needless to say my cynical debunking was truly over, and I felt like if I'd stood up right then, I would have ripped through the ceiling of the train car.


Stories are all around us all the time. All it takes is a moment to take a step out of the cynicism that people are predictable to realize that people are predictably fascinating.

If you're enjoying this blog, and would like to see more articles like this one, the writer is a guy with a rent and insurance to pay who would love to spend more time writing. Please consider contributing to My Patreon. As little as $12 a year (only one single less-than-a-cup-of-coffee dollar a month) will get you in on backchannel conversations, patron-only polls, and my special ear when I ask for advice about future projects or blog changes.

Monday, September 5, 2016

Happy Labor Day WAW Readers

Image description a list of things that are
thanks to the Labor Movement:
The Weekend
Overtime Pay
Minimum Wage
8 Hour Worday
Sick Days
Safety Standards
Child Safety Laws
Health Benefits
Retirement Security
Unemployment Insurance
Hey remember when employers just gave up this stuff because workers asked nicely and it was the right thing to do and everyone knew those unions were on the right side of history.

And remember the nature of employers fundamentally changed and they totally wanted what was best for their employers and would never exploit them, and totally wouldn't cut those costs the second those laws went away.

And then remember when the unions were busted over the last forty years and the laws were relaxed, remember how all this stuff just stayed in place because it was seen as a moral good and employers were basically nice people who cared about their employees, and not the bottom line. Remember how it really was unions just being greedy all those years, and we haven't seen the 40 hour week or the 8 hour day obliterated or collective bargaining forbidden or anything so regressive. Remember how the minimum wage didn't stagnate even though the cost of living went up because the labor movement no longer had teeth. And remember how employees gave health care even when they didn't legally have to because that was better for their workers, so there was no need for legal intervention. Certainly industries with busted unions or states with so-called "Right to Work" anti-union laws didn't create far, FAR worse circumstances for workers even a little bit. And of course everyone makes overtime if they're asked to work a long day or come in on the weekend.

Surely we can rest assured that employees are never going to take our retirement security away or cut corners on safety or lower the minimum working age or anything because employers are moral.....

Oh wait....

Happy Labor Day, everyone.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Evil Mystery Blogger

It's nothin till you don't got one.
Image des
Well, it seems the Evil Mystery Blogger knew I was heading out of town on vacation to visit OG, and tried to launch one of his incredibly bad advice articles. The Sci Guy tried to do a reverse Trojan something or other (and "reverse the poleron flow") to catch who it was in the act, but EMB just did a flash blast and blew out the power cable I was using from my remote upload location.

While the Sci Guy was able to fix the problem quickly at the Writing About Writing compound, your intrepid head writer was stuck on a train in Nevada with a useless power cable.

I had to wait until Grand Junction, Colorado and a little store called "Doug's Depot" where they overcharged me by just about double before I could get my end hooked back up. And then we left civilization and drove along the Colorado river for eight hours (lovely view, but I was not able to re-establish sufficient contact for a download until I came in range of the greater Denver metropolitan area.)

We aren't sure what he was going to post, but undoubtedly some terrible advice from which we narrowly escaped. The Sci-Guy is working on a firewall fix so that he can't do such a thing again. In the meantime, we will bring you something this weekend to make up for the two days under attack.

And it seems I'm going to have to have another discussion with the Sci Guy about prioritizing cyber security over delving into alternative dimensions looking for one where the woman he kissed once might be alive....