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My drug of choice is writing––writing, art, reading, inspiration, books, creativity, process, craft, blogging, grammar, linguistics, and did I mention writing?

Thursday, November 30, 2017

The 9 Best (Worst) Bits of Advice for The Day After Nano

The absolute worst most epic, amazeballs advice to jet-propel your post NaNoWriMo week straight to submission and publication faster than the GOP trying to avoid debate and get to a floor vote.

So you're writing during NaNo because NaNo is awesome and you're awesome. However, unlike all the other "It was a great experience" losers, your novel is not only going to get picked up by a major publisher, it's going to rocket to the top of the charts. Your book's theme song will be Rocket Man, even if it doesn't have any spaceships in it.

This won't be because you worked hard, but because you know the secrets to unlocking your the full potential of your creative genius.

They say genius and talent can't be taught. But they only say that because they don't want you learning what I'm about to tell you. Your NaNo book has officially reached the inside track to absolute unadulterated awesome pure gold awesome. Follow my advice, and this will happen so fast, you will be able to spend your massive advance on Christmas shopping.

Seriously, I hope your peeps like riding around in Ferraris.

1- Don't worry about that word count.

Did you quit after like five days? Don't worry about it. What's important is that you got that killer idea onto paper. No one is going to care that your book isn't done yet once they see how fucking ridonkulous your concept is. They will hire a team of ghostwriters to finish it for you.

If you are not the kind of writer who can hammer out writing at a fevered pace, like 1667 words a day, stop not being that kind of writer and be AWESOME instead.

2- Not finishing is fine. In fact, it's great.

Book not done? 50,000 words kind of slim for a "novel," or maybe you stopped writing around Thanksgiving when life fell apart. Don't worry. You've got the main chunk of the beginning done, and any publisher is going to be able to see that it's absolutely genius. Don't fret about writing the entire thing out completely.  That's for later. Once you have the advance, you can get to work on the rest of it--or better yet, the publisher will probably assign you a phalanx of ghostwriters to whom you can just describe what's going to happen and they will do the writing part.

3- Be vocal about what you're doing, especially to professional writers.

You know how many people publish their NaNo books?

Like five.

Ever.

You know why? Because they don't spend time making connections like you're going to.

You of all people know the power of words. Don't water down what you're accomplishing here. Tell everyone (whether they ask or not) that you've written a novel. Put stress on the word novel and say it multiple times. Work the word novel into conversations.

If someone tells you that they're a writer, and particularly if you already know one, become even more enthusiastic about how you are writing a novel. Ask them to hook you up with their agent and publisher so you can let them see your novel. There is a very good chance that they will become so blown away by your sheer universe-altering will about your novel, that they will probably introduce you to their agent. If you say it, you give it life. So talk about your novel as much as you can. Novel.

4 Don't revise.

Revision is for people who didn't write a good story in the first place. Did you not write a good story or is your story the biznizzle? Yeah, that's what I thought: you already know your story is awesome. A lot of people talk about revising their NaNo manuscript, but you can tell that deep down they know they just haven't struck mental gold.

But you have struck mental gold. That's what the elite team of editors that your publisher will assign to you is going to do.

What you want to do is get out ahead of the pack in shopping for an agent. Or better yet go right to the publisher since the agent will probably try to steal your work.

5- Don't even worry about that polish.

"Polish" is just code for "I don't have confidence that this is going to make you forget what grammar even is." Polish is code for "I didn't write an awesome story." Polish is code for "Why don't you just give up and become a plumber." Are any of these things true? If they are, stop wasting your time reading this article, and go play with your coloring books.

If you want to be a writer, believe in yourself.

6- Submit your novel right away. 

The deluge of NaNoWriMo manuscripts is about to hit every publisher in the world. You don't want to get caught in this rush of losers. Even though your awesomeness is PARTICULARLY awesome and would absolutely stand out like a lighthouse on a foggy night, anyone can get a bad break if they're manuscript is in a stack of a hundred.

So how do you avoid getting lumped in with a bunch of plebs' sub-par manuscripts?

Easy, submit yours first. Beat the rush.

Not revising and not polishing isn't just about having confidence in how good your idea is. It's about beating all those losers to the punch. If they spend two or three days editing their draft, and don't submit until December 3rd or 4th, that's two or three days earlier that you will get in before them.

Is some publisher going to pass on your rockstar idea because you forgot a comma?

I don't think so.

7- Announce yourself.  

Be sure to tell the publisher you send your novel to that you just wrote it for NaNoWriMo, and that it is so good you sent it immediately without even a revision. They will respect and admire your candor.

As will I, my fervid pixel shifting champion.

As. Will. I.

8- Most importantly...take a break.

You've had a tough month. Time to put your feet up and let those creative batteries recharge. Take a month or two at least...probably longer. Relax. You want to be nice and well rested ready when the next lightning strike of inspiration hits. True genius comes in fits and starts not from daily persistence.

Follow these simple steps, and your dreams of having publishers pee themselves a little when they hear about you, and fall over each other to publish you will come true.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

It All Ends: Best Modern Fantasy (Final Round)

What is the best fantasy book or series written in the last 25 years?    

Our poll that began nearly three months ago with the call for some nominations has, at last, reached the final round.

However, shenanigans ensues. You have TWO polls upon which to cast your vote(s).

You see Terry Pratchett got on this poll twice with stand alone novels, and Neil Gaiman got on three times. And based on how each of them did in the semifinals, they're easily going to be at least the top three spots in a poll that usually only has eight choices. So I had to get a little creative to keep this (very) long awaited final interesting.

Poll Number 1-

If they're going to be (whether it is from shenanigans or legitimate veneration) the top of every poll around them, then we will just assume they're going to kick ass and take names and pit them against EACH OTHER.

That's right. Poll number one is every Pratchett and Gaiman offering we had.

In poll #1, you get two (2) choices.

Poll Number 2-

This poll will include eight of the top titles that would have made it to the final round had Pratchett and Gaiman not been on it. If you want to look at this as choosing the runners up, that's up to you, but one way or another, we're going to make this interesting.

Goddamn it.

In poll #2, everyone will get three (3) votes. The top four titles will go on to the finals.

Now is the time to make one small reminder. Many of the books in question have some kind of adaptation to the screen. It's time to stress that while CGI dragons are goddamned spectacular, this poll is about BOOKS, and writing, and not about how much Peter Dinklage fucking rules. So please vote for the best book, not the best thing you've seen on DVD or HBO.

The polls themselves are both on the bottom left of the side menus, below the "About the Author."

Also, seriously, I know there are a lot of people on WAW's Facebook Page and laws governing the internet determine that a certain number of people will leave nasty comments that their faves are missing without bothering to understand the context of our nomination process and quintillion earlier rounds, but consider this your hip check that you're turning the petulant up to eleven. "Oh sweet Jesus's Nip, how could my very, very favorite fave not be here?" Well, chances are that either 1) it was and now it's not because your very favorite fave was not enough other people's very favorite fave and more's the pity but I don't control that part, 2) there were rules that disqualified titles that came out before 1992 ("Why isn't Wheel of Time on here?" Because it's not modern according to the definition of this poll.) So, while I'm really sorry, showing up on the last round and declaring that if it doesn't have The Spinsters Orcsnogger Chronicles, it's just a completely invalid poll kind of makes you look foolish.

For mobile users you click on "web page view" and then scroll ALLLLLLLLLL the way to the bottom.

This final (these finals) will run for two weeks. By then I hope to have nominations for whatever I decide to start in December. That means that the IP logging will expire after a week. And since I can't really stop shenanigans, I encourage it.

Vote early. Vote often.

Best Modern Fantasy (Semifinal 2)

What is the best fantasy book or series written in the last 25 years? 

The second semifinals shake out, and it's looking like there may need to be some divine shenanigans from on high to shake up the finals. Stay tuned to see what I'm on about.

I'm glad Gaiman and Pratchett had such a strong showing. They are obviously two of my favorites, but this fucking poll has taken us like three months to get to, and is now in danger of being a bit boring because half the poll will only be two authors, so get ready for things to go a little pear shaped....later on today.

And thank you to so many of you for voting.

Text results below.

Night Watch- T. Pratchett 186 31.16%
American Gods- N. Gaiman 130 21.78%
Neverwhere- N. Gaiman 84 14.07%
Stormlight Archives- B. Sanderson 61 10.22%
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - R. Riordan 51 8.54%
The Abhorson Trilogy- G. Nix 39 6.53%
The Inheritance Trilogy- N.K. Jemison 35 5.86%
Hounded (Iron Druid Chronicles)- K. Hearne 11 1.84%

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Serious For A Moment (Important Update)

I'd like to take a moment to talk about something serious. No persona. No over-the-top jokes. No running "evil mystery blogger" plot. We'll put off the Best Fantasy poll until tomorrow even though it's well overdue. And no, it's not my monthly request for patrons. Though it is something that matters to the future of Writing About Writing. Indeed, it might be the future of non-traditional publishing and the internet artist.

TL;DR- I know the issue has come up enough times to cause outrage fatigue, but please learn why the current struggle for Net Neutrality is particularly huge, and what you can do to maybe stop what will be a devastating alteration to the entire landscape of our internet experience. And you can even have John Oliver make you laugh up your lung while you learn.

For the longer version, and a bit of context, let me tell you a story:
This is a picture of my "all time" analytics from Blogger. I'm probably going to break 300,000 again this month. You can't even see a single pixel of line on the graph from when I started in February 2012. In those days I would put up Hugh Grant dancing videos (from Love Actually) when a post got more than twenty of my friends to click on it. I felt like a writing GOD that day I broke a thousand page views. My first patron showed up after I had been writing six months and gave me ten dollars. TEN DOLLARS! In December of the year, after 11 months of writing, I cashed a check from Blogger (I ran ads back then–also Blogger sent out physical checks back then) for a little over a hundred dollars and I felt ten feet tall walking to the bank.

Six years later and I've been read by millions. Strange people I've never met recognize my name on planes and trains (no literally), and perhaps most amazing of all, through nothing but donations I have begun to be able to pay the bills through writing. Maybe not ALL the bills, but I wouldn't die (at least not right away) and I have pet sitting and child care trade to help.

As much as I am loathe to admit this, and as vociferous as I can be with deep umbrage of everything from content throttling to harassment policies that favor white supremacy, this is not a story of success that I can tell without also talking about Facebook. Simply put, none of this would have been possible without my Facebook Writing About Writing page.


That's nearly half of my all-time traffic from one referring URL–Facebook. The story of my blog's skyrocketing numbers IS the story of WAW's facebook page's skyrocketing numbers. I'm not saying I wouldn't have found another way, but I very much doubt I would be as far along.

This goes away if FB becomes something people have to pay for though their ISP. 

Throttled content is nothing new to me. I've been dealing with the Facebook algorithm for years. If every one of the 600,000 people who have said they want to see Writing About Writing's posts actually got to see them, I would A) need a fraction as much work to build three times the audience around that page, and B) would be making a lot more money at this point. But they do limit who sees those posts because they want me to pay to advertise them. They especially limit links to other URL's and ESPECIALLY the hosts that a page admin puts up regularly–in my case Blogger. I tell people who ogle at my current salary from writing that while it is breathtaking now to be paying the bills, if they added up all the hours I promoted myself and for all the years, I still wouldn't have broken $1/hr. It was like having a 5 year unpaid internship for a minimum wage job.

This throttling content is old news on Facebook but it's starting to make independent artists' lives difficult on platforms like Twitter and Tumblr as "good stuff first" posts crowd out the things followers have ASKED to see. In many cases these are places artists fled to to escape Facebook's algorithm.



Of course, that's the price of doing business on Social Media. WE are the product and we're just playing in their sandbox. But losing Net Neutrality would bring a whole new set of players (the ISPs) into the game, eager to line their own pockets. If it were just me getting the squeeze, and just throttled content, I could probably figure out a "worth it" price point. I still run a $10 promotion once in a while to see what that does to my numbers. (Not much, TBH.)

However, if everyone has to pay to stay on their social media, numbers will plummet. Then my blog numbers will plummet. Which almost certainly means my income will plummet as well. And while I have skill sets that will mean I don't starve, being able to write for the 40 hours a week this blog takes would NOT be in the cards.

The instinct is to think that "It Can't Happen Here." Just like everything else we were sure couldn't happen here until it did. The instinct is to think that greed will check greed and leave your average web surfer unscathed. (Can I use "web surfer" in 2017?) Surely FB will simply pay what the ISP's want so they are prioritized and keep getting their money from advertising, and if you aren't starting up your own new social media, your life will continue mostly unaltered (as if FB would simply sigh and lose their profit margin with a "Well, played, good chap!" and not somehow pass the cost on to SOMEONE). There may be "fast lanes" on the internet (which a moment's thought about why you spent all that money on your snazzy uber T-5 connection will reveal can't happen unless ISP's actually CAUSE slow lanes).

Except you can see in places like Portugal and New Zealand where there is no net neutrality, that is EXACTLY what has happened. The ISP's have squeezed companies that need bandwith like Facebook and Netflix, but have ALSO put the squeeze on the individual consumers. How many people do you know who would be willing to pay $100+ dollars a year to stay on Facebook? How many would be priced out? How many might pay this price, but at the cost of being able to do something else with that money?


A list of costs ISPs charge their customers to NOT block content in New Zealand.
(FB, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter= $10 for 28 days.)

And even if it doesn't go down exactly like this (and you would have to sort of believe in the generosity and restraint of a company like AT&T to think it wouldn't), it's not as if the companies squeezed are just going to give up their profit margins with a wistful sigh. They're going to pass the "savings" RIGHT on to all of us. And while we don't know exactly what that would mean, it is not unreasonable to imagine that content identified as promotional would be further throttled to try and squeeze out more advertising revenue.

Ending net neutrality will, for the sake of ISP's being able to make even MORE money, impact, and possibly destroy the careers of thousands of bloggers, vloggers, patreons, Etsy stores, Kickstarters, artists, non-traditional writers, and a wide diaspora of voices who have worked around mainstream gatekeepers to scrape out a living using social media to promote their work. (To say nothing of how the proposed tax plan eliminating business expense write offs would raise our tax burdens.) A whole generation of non-traditional creatives will be devastated.

There are huge and massive issues around how this will bring gatekeepers into the online world, exploit those with the most limited resources, and serve to further marginalize communities who have found a voice in a technology with a more even playing field. This will end so much of what makes the internet incredible and make it just one more place where the wealthy get all the good stuff.

And yes, this is a personal story too. I want this blog to stay where it is, grow, and not have to go back to being a hobby that I update twice a week while pursuing a "day job." I have opted out of traditional publishing because it was possible to do so, and I would hate to see that no longer be the case. So I hope everyone reading takes a moment to inform themselves of what's at stake, and then sends on a note (or five) to the appropriate folks.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Broken Transmission

[This is the last known transmission received by the 2nd 8th rate blog Writing About Writing before all communication ceased on Wednesday, November 22 at 8:34 PM. Writing About Writing has not responded to any further attempts at communication.]

10 Things To Get You Through Week 4 of NaNoWriMo  

Hello. Evil Chris here. And I didn't just crawl out of the basement to run this Best Modern Fantasy Poll. Today I'm going to tell you about how to get through the last, and easily the most grueling week of National Novel Writing Month.

You've come this far, and there's just a little more to go. Let's keep a few things in mi–

[Static.  Transmission ends.

Status of Writing About Writing: Unknown

Bob says he'll check things out after he has dinner with the fam. He hopes the historically inaccurate Jurassic Park bio-engineered velociraptor with the laser on its head didn't get out again because his Nana made pecan pie.]


Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Best Modern Fantasy (Reminder to Vote)

What is the best fantasy book or series written in the last 25 years?  

I'm flipping the order of operations between tomorrow and today–today will be the poll and tomorrow will be Evil Chris's survival guide to week three of NaNoWriMo. The reason for this change is three and loves Death Star jelly bean dispensers. Also I'm going to weep bitter tears when N.K. Jemisin doesn't make it to the finals (as it seems they won't), so if you see me on the streets, have pity. I am going through the only slightly imaginable. However, such is not under my control. *sigh* 

There are only four days left to vote. On Saturday I will post the results of this poll and put up the final round.

I know some people won't read this before they look at the choices and make a comment on Facebook, but please consider that 1) this is only half the titles in the semifinal round ("Oh my god how could Harry Potter not make it????" It did. It was in the first semifinal and will be going on to the finals.), 2) there were rules that disqualified titles that came out before 1992 ("Why isn't Wheel of Time on here?" Because it's not modern according to the definition of this poll.), and 3) there have been twelve rounds getting to here and that was after the epic-est nominations process I've ever seen, and much like N.K. Jemisin's unlikelihood of making it to the finals, I controlled literally NONE OF IT. My readers made all the decisions, so if a title got voted off the island or never got nominated, acting like it is a crime to the genre might make you look a little foolish.

Don't forget you get three (3) votes, but that there is no ranking, so using as few votes as possible is better.

The poll itself is in the lower left at the bottom of the side menus.

I'm told if you're on mobile you have to click "webpage view" then scroll alllllllllll the way to the bottom, you can find the poll.

Monday, November 20, 2017

Metacular (Personal and Meta Update)

I'm sure at one point I had a reason for looking this ridiculous.
A post on Monday? Whaaaaaaaat?

Actually it's just a preview to let you know what's going on. This week is a major holiday and our update schedule might look a little screwy. You know I can't get the staff to even come in on a bank holiday. Even if I offer them double-time, they say something like: "So, you're going to give us TWO coupons for half off DippenDots with the purchase of a value meal."

And they say it in that way that means it's totally the end of the conversation, so I'm not really sure.

Sci Guy wants to install a buttload of tracking software so we can definitively figure out what's going on with Evil Mystery Blogger by logging keystrokes or something, but it's a huge endeavor and he needs the entire building offline. I'm sure he's not just wanting the power reserves to do experiments to bring his dead girlfriend over from timelines where she didn't die because nothing weird ever happens here at Writing About Writing when we go on break for a few days. We also have a bit of freelance hero work happening Tuesday (rather than the usual Monday schedule for that sort of thing).

Anyway the point is, I'm going to take the opportunity to do something of a MASSIVE admin overhaul in the next week. Everything from figuring out the future of guest blogging to an Inside Scoop e-mail to a catch up on all the menus that have fallen into decay. And I'd love to get some full force sessions in with my fiction now that life is not a screaming tire fire.

And hey...I might even take a moment to have some good food with friends and family in my ritual sacrifice with pie.

There should still be a really real post for tomorrow (Evil Chris assures me) and some of our Best Modern Fantasy Poll business will go up on Wed. [Edit: It looks like I'm going to have to flip the rollout schedule on these two days, but all the same posts will go up.] But then we need to take the blog offline until Tuesday. If things go very well, we might fire it back up by Sunday, but we'll be back to taking Mondays off next week.

Now there's a D&D article I've been threatening, and I think it's going to be ready this week, but I've changed my mind about posting it this week. I'm overdue to give my patrons an early access post, and I'm going to let them have it for a few days.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

On Holidays, Flossing, and Writing

I stumbled into a metaphor not too long ago that resonated with me and has been packed into the top tier of my writing platitudes toolbox ever since. I share it now because my article about what Dungeons and Dragons taught me about writing will have to wait until at least tomorrow. And that's because frankly I needed a damned day off. (Uh.....other than this, I guess.)

I was having my teeth cleaned after a particularly busy period of my life. (Funny how often I seem to have those.) The dentist was remarking how good my flossing was and how good my gums were looking. This is notable because it was literally my first "Looks good. See you in six months," check up since I was a child. Usually I have to sit there and listen to how my every oral hygiene routine is actually completely wrong.

"I haven't flossed in like two weeks," I admitted anyway, wanting to absolve my guilt. I couldn't live with all those sweet golden compliments built on a turpitudinous throne of lies.  "Like maybe once or twice."

Thinking back on it, that exchange kind of reveals a lot about who I am as a person.


"It doesn't matter if you do it every single day. It doesn't even matter if you skip a few days. What matters is that you usually have the habit of doing it daily."

"Oh like writing," I said.

OH!  LIKE WRITING!!!!! I thought.

Here at Writing About Writing we're pretty staunch advocates of writing every day if you're trying to make it to The Show™. (Contented hobbyists are a whole other story.) Every writer whose name we recognize probably wrote every day or close. And while legit excuses are out there, there are few so beleaguered that they can't set aside fifteen minutes or so from Facebook or Zelda: Breath of the Wild to write for fifteen to thirty minutes.

However, as the holidays loom here in the States, it's also important for writers–particularly the kind that haven't carved out a paycheck from writing and have day jobs on top of everything else the Holiday season packs on–to remember that it's the habit they're cultivating that matters rather than whether or not they missed a couple of days here and there (or had to write a couple of paragraphs and call it good) in the days around a major event.

If you find yourself saying "I don't have to do it every day," to the mirror five days a week for six months, you might need to do a brutally honest inventory about who's fooling whom. But if you've got six hours of shopping and cooking and that's before the first guest arrives, and a boss who wants you to clear out a five day week of work in three days if you want Friday off, and the verge still needs trimming....be kind to yourselves.

Remember your writing doesn't have to be grueling hours on your work in progress. Tear someone a new asshole on a political post, redirect all that rage you have about your childhood to someone who thinks Trump isn't risking an irony fissure to the time space continuum to mock Al Franken, (or, you know, maybe send an email to Nana thanking her for the cookies if that's more your speed), and call it a day. The writing will all still be there on Monday.

It's not one day that's going to hurt your chances as a writer. It's forming that habit.

Like flossing.

Friday, November 17, 2017

Post Postponing

I mentioned this on Facebook, but I'm packing up one pet-sitting job and heading straight to another today (and the past two weeks of nannying haven't given me the time to have something mostly cobbled together already), so look for today's post this weekend.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Who Ordered The Extra Salty Mailbox (Mailbox)

It's not quite hate mail, but I'm not exactly putting up with this shit either. 

[Remember, keep sending in your questions to chris.brecheen@gmail.com with the subject line "W.A.W. Mailbox" and I will (eventually?) answer on my weekly reply.  I will use your first name ONLY unless you tell me explicitly that you'd like me to use your full name or you would prefer to remain anonymous.  My comment policy also may mean one of your comments ends up in the mailbox. I do not bother with the kid gloves if you don't sign your name.]    

Anonymous writes:

All you ever write about is writing. For five years you've been writing about writing. How much writing can be done about writing? How much longer can you keep this blog going and have it be just about writing?

My reply:

If you're not having a good time, I have a couple of suggestions for alternative activities. One might require a cloning machine, but I hear we have one of those in the basement.

Here's the deal. I have a couple of "notes" files of articles that I'm reminding myself I need to write and a lot of brainspace dedicated to future articles. A number of serial posts remain unfinished but I haven't forgotten about them or abandoned them (whether they are literary reviews of Skyrim or some of my own creative nonfiction). And there are far more entries for things like The Basics or Craft of Fiction that are yet to come. There are so many unwritten posts–so FUCKING MANY–that were I to experience some kind of trauma or injury or simply the all time mother of writer's blocks and stop generating new ideas....TODAY, it would be over three years before I finished up the backlog.

That means that if I only finish up loose ends, half written, and conceived but not yet put to pixel posts. If no one writes in a new question for the mailbox. If I don't manage to watch another movie and review it. If no news in Trump's America manages to invoke a Social Justice Bard response about narratives and sociolinguistics. If not one single new guest blogger ever steps forward. If no one tries to take a viral litsnob swipe at someone like Pratchett or JK Rowling. If I can't think of a single thing as the plot for Season 3. If I don't read a single new writing book or try out a single new thing of which I would want to do a product review. If I read no "lesser known" books that I really want to give a shout out to. If absolutely no ideas for a listicle  jumps into my head as a great idea for a post....

....at all....

....ever again.....

It'll be about 2022 before Writing About Writing closes up shop.

Frankly, I wouldn't count on that. I can get inspired watching those commercials they run at the gas stations while you're filling up.

Art and life are inseparable, and like life, you can declare that you've got it pretty much figured out or you can delight in the infinite complexities of endless variations on the themes.

A commenter writes:

How could you possibly claim to know everything there is to know about Loki's character if you missed one of the movies with him in it?

My reply:

(Dark World and Ragnorok spoilers ahead)

If only....

If only there were some sort of central repository of knowledge that we, as curious media consumers, could access with all these new fangled machines that have become so ubiquitous and we are so accustomed to.  Somewhere where someone who was watching an "Including Movies" run of Agents of Shield and couldn't get the Roku to work would be able to find some sort of synopsis of The Dark World and read about Loki's tricking everyone into thinking he's dead so he can abduct his father, usurp his power while pretending to be him, and abandon him in a situation that will eventually lead to his death noble sacrifice.

But honestly here's me looking for the place where I claimed I knew everything there is to know about Loki. Nope not there. Nope. Not there either. Are you sure I claimed that? Because I know winning arguments is a lot easier when you are arguing against claims someone never made, but there is a name for that sort of thing.

Nope. Not seeing it.
Look I know what the real crime here is. I had the temerity to evaluate Loki on a scale other than "Awesome," "Totally Awesome," or "Tragically misunderstood but nonetheless totally awesome." People really like Loki and want to put that whole murdering entire cities, slave trading, totally would have murdered that guy who didn't kneel, multiple betrayals, was-about-to-sell-bro-out-to-slavers thing behind them because he cracks wise, sometimes makes tenuous alliances, and rocks the curved horn look.

I like Loki too. I totes do. Too many villains don't have that depth and nuance and you know too well what they're going to do. I REALLY like that he brings nuances of biculturalism and "otherness" to his portrayal. His motivations are more complicated, and I think that's really cool. But while he might be on track for some very interesting MCU redemption arc action, is certainly a complicated character, absolutely OOZES charisma with Tom Hiddleston behind the wheel, and has some very interesting change-of-heart moments, he does most things most of the time mostly because they are going to help Loki to acquire power.

Anonymous writes:

As someone who's a literary major, maybe you should spell your literary references correctly. It's Chekhov, not "Chekov". 

As someone who's a literary major????  Do math majors not have to spell theater references correctly?

Oh wait. I get it. I see what's going on. I'm savvy.

This was an attempt to embarrass me because I should know better. How could I, a lit major, not have an eidetic memory with regards to the spelling of every major literary figure that I would have run across in the course of my studies. After all that's what I spent most of my four years of college doing right? It wasn't writing papers–it was spelling tests of notable figures.

It must really burn some people up when a guy like me shows up, someone whose dyslexia and ADD leads to grammar and spelling errors left and right, yet who still manages to get straight A's in his English major, gets invited to dinner with professors to discuss theses even as an undergrad, gets paid to write, and has a huge international audience.

"Why that guy doesn't even know his Jane's from his Texan cities!!! Balderdash!"

Since we're in the catty zone though, "Lit" stands for literaTURE major. Literary is an adjective. A "literary major" would be a high ranking officer in the army's book reading brigade. Also if you were paying attention instead of just giving your red pen a workout, you might have noticed that I was a Creative Writing Major so clearly I am simply lost without an editor. Though really, at the undergrad level, there's a lot of overlap, and they're all just English majors with various emphases. I still wrote rings around most of those lit majors though. Even if I misspelled some names along the way. Oh yes.

Because at the end of the day I can fix my Chekhovian flaws with two presses of a button (thanks Bee Tee Dubs), but confronting the sort of snide elitism that'll make someone try to shame a writer because their autocorrect recognizes Star Trek will take a bit more effort.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Best Modern Fantasy (Semifinal 2)

What is the best fantasy book or series written in the last 25 years?   

Behemoths continue to duke it out for the honor of going forth to the final round. We're almost there, and the end of literally months of nominations and elimination rounds is in sight.

Everyone will get three (3) votes. The top four titles will go on to the finals.

Now is the time to make one small reminder. Many of the books in question have some kind of adaptation to the screen. It's time to stress that while CGI dragons are goddamned spectacular, this poll is about BOOKS, and writing, and not about how much Peter Dinklage fucking rules. So please vote for the best book, not the best thing you've seen on DVD or HBO.

The poll itself is on the bottom left of the side menus, below the "About the Author."

My apologies in advance. Gaiman got three titles into the semifinals, so one poll was destined to have some hot Gaiman vs. Gaiman action going on.

Also, seriously, I know there are a lot of people on WAW's Facebook Page and the laws of large numbers are starting to dictate that a certain number of people won't read anything but the preview text before commenting, but y'all are hurting my soul. "Oh how could my very, very favorite fave not be here?" Well....chances are it is, or was. Please know that 1) this is only half the titles in the semifinal round ("Oh my god how could Harry Potter not be on any credible poll????" It is. Check the results of the first semifinal. It'll be on the finals.), 2) there were rules that disqualified titles that came out before 1992 ("Why isn't Wheel of Time on here?" Because it's not modern according to the definition of this poll.), and  3) there have been twelve rounds getting to here and that was after the epic-est nominations process I've ever seen and I controlled literally NONE OF IT, so if a title got voted off the island or never got nominated, I'm really sorry, but showing up when we're on the second to last round and declaring that if it doesn't have your very favoritiest title, it's not a good poll kind of makes you look foolish.

For mobile users you click on "web page view" and then scroll ALLLLLLLLLL the way to the bottom.

These semifinals will only be up a little over a week (we're going to end up going into December despite all my hopes and dreams, so I might as well give people a little more time) That means that the IP logging will expire. Since I can't really stop shenanigans, I encourage it. Vote early. Vote often.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Best Modern Fantasy (Semifinal 1 Results)

What is the best fantasy book or series written in the last 25 years? 

The semifinals open with some giants falling off the polls. I'm as surprised as anyone.

It's 11pm and I might be getting sick, so I'm just going to leave the results here, and hope to hell that a good night's sleep does a hard night's sleep.

The top four titles will move on to the semifinals.

And thank you to so, so, so many of you for getting involved. I suspect there was some Pratchett networking love going on, but the results are the results.

Text results below.

Small Gods- T. Pratchett 993 30.18%
Malazan Book of the Fallen series- S. Eriksen 458 13.92%
Harry Potter- J.K. Rowling 450 13.68%
The Kingkiller Chronicle- P. Rothfuss 384 11.67%
Song of Ice and Fire- G.R.R. Martin 308 9.36%
The Graveyard Book- N. Gaiman 262 7.96%
The Dresden Files- J. Butcher 239 7.26%
The Mercy Thompson Series- P. Briggs 196 5.96%

Saturday, November 11, 2017

The Return of a "Dark" History (A Literary Review of Thor: Ragnarok)

Thor Ragnarok may be the coolest, slickest, funniest indictment of white supremacy that you're likely to see for a long, long time. 

Meta disclaimer: 

I so seldom catch movies on opening night, and even more rarely have the time to go home and write them up. Usually any review like this is weeks or even months behind the curve. I mean, no shit, I have a half written article about The Force Awakens here. I started it in good faith the night the movie opened and....well....shit came up.
Anyway.

The point is, I don't often catch the pop culture curve. I'm usually the one showing up six months late, wheezing, and saying "Have I missed anything?" And my ideas aren't exactly super ground breaking, I just try to throw in a sex joke or something. So this is me in rare form trying to type faster than the hype can get stale. I'm already seeing the first articles hitting that are making the points I wanted to make a week ago, so I lift my glass to their authors. and hope I can add something meaningful, or at least some eighties pop culture references or something.

And also spoilers, folks. Couldn't go where I go without LOTS of spoilers.

Though statistically liberal arts majors are likely to end up being "the boss" because of their broad base of reading and writing skills and ability to communicate*, the only actionable skills a Lit major has right after graduation chiefly involve literary analysis. Since my Creative Writing emphasis was lit heavy, I possessed two skills. (The other one was writing about writing.)

*(Turns out you really 
want someone who can read a hundred pages, find the connections with something else, and distil it all into a memo before lunch)

So of course I'm doomed to literarily analyze everything. Books of course, but I also literarily analyze comics–not comic books, mind you, I'm talking the three panel joke versions–they are surprisingly supple when it comes to poststructural and intentionalist lenses. I analyze bars of soap, children's toys, facial expressions, my lunch...anything really.

And of course movies. Not just deep and confusing Nolan movies. But actually ridiculous giant robot movies too. The more ridiculous the better, to be honest, because it flexes the ol' lit-muscles to have to reach further into the bowels of incoherent vapidity to make a salient point. Plus, let's talk turkey: it's kind of hilarious to be able to do some halfway decent postmodernist and postcolonial theory on Sharknado. (We English majors have peculiar senses of humor. I own this.)

If I'm actually enjoying a piece of media, I'm probably analyzing it, even if that makes you think I'm a buzzkill who can't ever just relax and enjoy something. Thor was no exception. I was sitting in the theater giggling my ass off and remarkably surprised at how a frenetically paced goofy flick with a death scene that was basically "Welp...bye." was holding me rigid.

Here's the funny thing though. If you bring the thoughtful analysis to Thor, you'll notice topical commentary both grotesque and subtle. Unlike some of it's predecessors, and a disappointing number of MCU offerings to be honest, Thor Ragnarok has a lot to say. It might be a joke a minute, but there's a parable about the refugee experience, colonialism, and white supremacy that will liquify you far, far deeper than the Grandmaster's goo stick. And while T: R is not a morality play with characters who play nothing but their analogue, and certainly has characters (like Loki) who are layered and complicated with rich back stories as well as fitting into an extended metaphor, there are some artistic interpretations that fit quite well.

Some of the themes Thor touches on are as subtle as a brick. The Asgardians as refugees are disheveled, displaced, just want to escape death (literalized as a goddess) that is following them–ostensibly for some reason but mostly because they had the temerity to run. The line that they (not a physical place) are Asgard is repeated like a cudgel that can't be avoided. Valkyrie is a grizzled vet, with PTSD no less, who actually has a sense of what they're up against and how powerful it is. And The Immigrant song (the IMMIGRANT song–get it?) blasts not once, but twice through the action sequences.

But some of the metaphors are far more subdued: In the final battle one of the central tensions is whether the refugees will drown in the crossing over water. The resistance is led by someone who is both in character and actor from a typically marginalized group. The stinger scene and how welcome Asgardians will (not) be on Earth, the full force of how impossibly we treat refugees becomes fully apparent.

Other symbols are transparent to the point of invisibility at their core but slathered with so much laughter as frosting that they might escape cursory notice. When The Grandmaster (played brilliantly by Jeff Goldblum) engages in exploitation and human trafficking with a big smile and a manic affect, he reacts angrily, though hilariously, to his actions being referred to as "slavery." Much the same way that capitalistic exploitation of labor is fine so long as we never make those doing it feel bad. At the end, in the first stinger, the same character (a defeated slaver–wink wink nudge nudge–doyougetit?) declares what is essentially a civil war (where he got his ass kicked) to be a tie.

Perhaps the most obvious and also subtle metaphor is Hela herself, who not only marks the MCU's first woman villain, but arguably one of, if not the best. Naturally she too has symbolism both glaring and inescapable and somewhat muted. She walks onto the screen and declares herself returned and in control and can't really understand why no one is happy to see her. In one scene with Thor she indicts Odin as: “Proud to have it, ashamed of how he got it" and literally reveals how a sanitized history has covered up the real one. (No, like LITERALLY it covers it up.) She asks where Thor thinks all the gold came from. And in doing so she reveals that the nine realms were conquered and Asgard is a colonialist and imperialist power. Their prosperity has come at the expense of those they vanquished. She says that she will kill everyone who doesn't share her vision of Asgard's return to glory and power.

The only thing that could have made this more overt would be if she were wearing a red MAGA cap during her monologue.

But the family dynamic of the Asgardian royals is far more subdued as subtext for colonialism and white supremacy. Each presents a facet both of the complexity of colonialist nations (particularly the US) but also of the periods in history. And it brings out the real metaphor of the film–the tension between the distant past, the recent past, and the present. Hela represents a violent, tyrannizing distant past that has made the colonialist power great, and now seeks to destroy any who would challenge her vision. And when most of Asgard rejects her, she draws on that past (literalizing the rise of long dead armies who will execute her vision).  Thor is a young, well-intentioned and good hearted person who has benefitted directly from that violent past without knowing it and now comes face to face with it–and is shocked at its power (a moment literalized by the smashing of his hammer). Odin participated in the crimes, changed his mind, covered up the past, declared everything all better, and held Hela in check. Of course there is also Loki: a character who doesn't care as long as he gets his.

(Edit 11/12/17: Given how many comments have taken full fledged umbrage with this characterization of Loki, I will point out that even if you take out innumerable murders of total innocents in the MCU that he was directly or indirectly responsible for in the name of ruling Earth [colonizing Earth?], and only deal with the current source material, he still usurps his father's throne, trapping him far away and causing his death, falls in with slavers and even seeks to rise within their ranks without a significant moral objection to doing so, and tries to sell his brother out [again] but for being outmaneuvered. While I suspect that his MCU trajectory is headed for a full fledged redemption arc [5/19 Edit: Yep] given that he has not been the full-out antagonist for a couple of movies, and I have to tell you I personally really, really super high-key dig the character, his complicated, and often tragic, backstory of otherness, forced biculturalism, and conflict between occasional pangs of familial loyalty and being basically psychologically colonized bring him depth and layers, but they do not make him NOT fundamentally a character who makes VERY questionable decisions to advance his own power. He has his reasons and that makes him a GREAT character, but it doesn't make him a good guy, if that makes sense.)

The Asgardian royals create a powerful parallel to the political landscape US (and many colonialist powers) today. They got rich and powerful exploiting and subjugating other lands and peoples. The generation that changed its mind, and simultaneously changed the story and held some of the worst of white supremacy in check is dying and a new wave of white supremacy populism is on the rise. There are many who believes in their own exceptionalism without addressing (or even understanding) the atrocities of exploitation and human suffering that got them where they are, and they are suddenly confronted with the past. A past that has returned to claim its birthright for it is the TRUE heir to the throne. This white supremacy wants to remove or destroy anyone that isn't in agreement with it despite the inherent irony that the US (or other colonialist nation) is not really a place, but the very diaspora of people who would be removed. Even the wounded indignancy that it is being resisted is spot on. Those who believed in their history, institutions, and nations as forces of a greater good are shocked both at the truth of their past, at the power that past wields, and how easily those institutions they thought indestructible shatter in its hands. But a system that has been built on white supremacy and a country literally built with slavery and human suffering cannot simply say "Welp...bye," to its terrible history.

And, yes, there is even a huge contingent who frankly don't care what happens to anyone else as long as they get theirs, and they have deep and complicated reasons for doing so and often familial loyalty.

Perhaps my personal favorite persona in this parable is Skurge. More than Loki or Valkyrie his is a redemption arc that fits the extended metaphor, and almost perfectly represents a person with privilege (accurately cast as a white dude) who sees the rise of a power that doesn’t target him directly. He doesn't necessarily like that power (an echo of the "I have a real problem with that" that people in power admit to having about bigotry), but speaking out against it would cost him. (He doesn't exactly slip out the back and go join the resistance at the first opportunity either.) Here's a guy who imagines himself pretty badass and basically just wants to impress girls. He is offered power under the new regime because he is the "right kind of person." He goes with Hela despite lots of furtive glances that indicate his strong objections, but takes no no real action. However he comes to discover that not only is he the bad guy, but he's going to have to actually risk something or a lot of people are going to die. And lest you were beginning to succumb to the subtlety that is Thor, in a nod to both Chekhov and those who Skurge represents, he ends up turning a pair of U.S. M-16s (revealed earlier) on the undead army. Let us hope that the Skurges of our society who “have a real problem with what’s going on” but say nothing realize the cost of their complicity before it is too late.

The lesson here for writers is as heavy a bludgeon as Mjolnir itself–a story can be a fun, exciting, hilarious romp (and even have some non-trivial problems with pacing and fuck up actual mythology like woah) without necessarily being empty of meaning and subtext. Some of the subtler symbolism may not have been explicitly in the mind of the writing team, but given Taika Waititi’s background (a New Zealander with one parent Maori and the other a Russian Jew) it is nearly impossible to imagine the overarching postcolonial themes as unintended.

And it works! It works well. At no point did this ride stop being hilarious and fun. A writer shouldn't be afraid to be topical just because they want to reach a wide audience. The idea that one must pick either a good story or political relevance is a false dilemma.

In the end, Thor cannot defeat Hela. Her connection with Asgard is literally her strength. She is too powerful and that power is woven too deeply into Asgard's history. He can only leave her to Ragnorök, and it is only the swing of Surtur's sword that literally destroys Asgard to its foundations that (maybe?) defeats her. We face the same dilemma when surrounded by systems, institutions, laws, and culture all rooted in white supremacy–they cannot simply be unwoven and detangled without shattering those foundations from which they are intractable. And yes, if we do this, it will feel like the end of the world.

The important thing to remember is that it is WE who are Asgard.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Best Modern Fantasy (Semifinal 1–Reminder to vote)

What is the best fantasy book or series written in the last 25 years? 

When The Dresden Files, Pratchett, and Gaiman get voted off the island, I'm going to laugh and fuel my Genesis Device with all the "How can any serious poll not have my BABY?" comments that drop about the final round, so if you don't want me living forever off of your delicious tears, you better vote.

There are three days left to vote. On Sunday I will post the results of this poll and put up the second semifinal.

And while I know the laws of large numbers have begun to determine that a certain number of people won't read anything but the preview text and the poll before commenting that oh how could their very favorite fave not be here, please consider that 1) this is only half the titles in the semifinal round ("Oh my god how could American Gods not make it????" It did. It'll be in the second semifinal.), 2) there were rules that disqualified titles that came out before 1992 ("Why isn't Wheel of Time on here?" Because it's not modern according to the definition of this poll.), and  3) there have been twelve rounds getting to here and that was after the epic-est nominations process I've ever seen and I controlled literally NONE OF IT but rather my readers made all the decisions, so if a title got voted off the island or never got nominated, acting like it is a crime to the genre might make you look a little foolish.

Don't forget you get three (3) votes, but that there is no ranking, so using as few votes as possible is better.

The poll itself is in the lower left at the bottom of the side menus.

I'm told if you're on mobile you have to click "webpage view" then scroll alllllllllll the way to the bottom, you can find the poll.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

May's Best (And a tiny personal update)

I'm going to keep using this week–this week with it's double book, hours of driving, and emergency nanny hours–to catch up on these "Best of" posts that have gone months without updating. I've gotten a little writing time to work on a Thor article, and if all goes well it'll be up on Friday. (And if all doesn't go well, I'll finally actually have some time on Saturday, and it'll probably be either Saturday or Sunday.) Currently, if I'm not in the car, entertaining a soon-to-be four year old, or literally bent over in the physical act of feeding a cat or scooping their litter box, I'm pretty much writing right now, so I'll get you the good stuff as fast as I get it done.

Here are the top three articles (non poll and non-appeal) from May that will be moving to permanent housing in our "Greatest Hits" menu.

A Dream Destroyed (Mailbox)- R's brother's friend has really splashed some cold water on their love of writing. What should they do?

Swearing in Third Person (Mailbox)- Is it okay to have your third person narrator swear? Well it depends....

This Populist Writing Philosophy (Mailbox)Someone wrote into the W.A.W. Facebook page who was less than thrilled that I stress writing a lot over writing the best one could every time.

Honorable Mention:

An Open Letter to the Readers of Writing about WritingMaybe it was the title, but my appeals posts don't usually get more pageviews than other posts. But this would have actually been this month's number one except for one of the polls.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Admin Heavy Week

I'm about to have one of those weeks that I warn everyone about in my schedule sometimes happen when part of your world involves a three-year old. Life has brought the busy, and I'm about to jump at it in slow motion so we meet in the mid air, punching each other, as Led Zepplin's Immigrant Song blows everyone's ear drums.

So......

I'm going to do my very best to bring you both quality and quantity this week. I have articles in my head as new as Thor:Ragnarok literary analyses, and going all the way back to internet outage I suffered this summer. (Well, technically a few are even older than that.) And I'll be typing like some piping to try and get to you as much good stuff as I can.

However the conjunction of überbusy and super-behindness on admin/clean-up type posts (like menu clean-ups) that have been cannibalized by all the early rounds of the Best Modern Fantasy Poll reveal a clear solution.

Manus Jazzicus. Administraticus.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Vocabulary Builders (Product Review)

My vocab builder can beat up your vocab builder!
If you buy a vocabulary builder (and I don't recommend it), get the right one.

There are a lot of vocabulary builders out there for the writer anxious that their lexicon might need a little punching up before they have the kind of vernacular that will turn heads. And while these books can have a tiny bit of limited usefulness to a writer, they are not all they're cracked up to be and DEFINITELY not all created equally.

For a while there I shared this deep seated anxiety that if I wasn't able to deftly work "pulchritudinous" into my prose, I was going to be lost among the oceans of aspiring writers. (Who knew that the thing that would actually set me apart would be sitting down and writing?) The end result being that I have a half a dozen of these books most of which haven't done anything but increase the weight of every subsequent move I've made by about five pounds.

So if you really want my advice, you don't need these at all. And there are two main reasons for that:

1) The current trends in most modern writing is to write how we speak–generally more pragmatic and less baroque. We have major writing style guides telling us to keep it simple and publishers and readers tolerate far less purple prose from any modern writer than they might from, for example, a Victorian author or even 20th century writer. While many writers might know a three dollar synonym for what they're saying, most of the time it is simpler, more concrete, and more accessible writing to pick an easier word unless the complicated word captures the meaning far, far more elegantly and precisely. Literature (and to a greater degree art) is deliberately casting off much of the high-society elitism of "fine art" that is acutely emblematic within Anglophone culture's favoritism of Latin roots and Norman/French expressions instead of anglo saxon based "pleb language." (Think imbibe vs. drink if you want an example of an ostentatious word with absolutely no added meaning.)  It's just not en-vogue anymore to confuse readers with an elevated vocabulary.

Disclaimer: you can do it.  And a few writers do, but they also do it in a very natural way. Consciously attempting to do so usually leads to at best feigned savvy and at worse a stilted, prolix prose using words bordering on anachronistic. Like a politician who makes every question about the talking points, you are going to be working too hard to show off the words you've learned instead of just picking them when they are the exactly right word for what you mean. Which brings me to the much more important second point.

2) If you use a vocabulary builder to build your vocabulary, your vocabulary is going to FEEL like you used a vocabulary builder to build your vocabulary. If you pepper in a bunch of big words just to show off it's going to feel pretentious and contrived. It kind of shows.

The best way to get a big vocabulary is to read a lot. You will encounter words you've not seen before and decide if you want to try to muddle through from context or must look them up, and you will enjoy the delight of the adroit wordsmith to slip in the occasional words that titillate you and cause you work them into something you write five times in as many pages for the love of them (later to be revised down to only the best one, of course) your vocabulary will grow in a natural way. You won't be learning 5 roots and 25 words as part of "Unit 1" in a futile attempt to "catch em all," but rather your love for words will develop naturally as you encounter words in the wild that you realize have some power you've always wanted to be able to capture. Also, as you see the prose of other writers you will learn how you want your own writing voice resonate (because we give Faulkner a lot more latitude to send us to the dictionary every page or two than we would The Orcslayer Deathninja Chronicles, trust me).

When you have a big vocabulary, it can give you access to that PERFECT word, and that is a wonderful ability. But an artificially inflated vocabulary kind of feels like it is exactly that.

On the other hand, vocabulary builders are pretty fucking great for recognizing the words that already exist out in the world, for second language speakers, or for anyone still in a situations where they might have vocabulary tests. Also, some writers are not going to take the first part of this article's advice. The anxiety a new writer can feel of worrying about the inadequacy of their own natural lexicon can be potent. Maybe not as fierce as Trump working about the size of his.........hands, but potent.

If you must "build your vocabulary," don't get one of those books that is just a bunch of random complicated words. Those things are absolute crap. They won't help you at all, and you would basically have to make flashcards to even get close to absorbing the material. Might as well just read the dictionary for all the good it'll do you. (Not that you can't do this, but it's not a great way to RETAIN what you've learned.) The vocabulary builders I'm talking about here are far more than simply vocabulary books with big words. They are intended to help figure out prefixes, suffixes and roots.

So let me show you what you want in a vocab builder using these two examples.

I picked my worst and best versions. Ida Ehrlich's Instant Vocabulary and Merrian Webster's Vocabulary builder respectively. I don't know if my best is the best (especially not today) but this will give you an idea of what to look for.

Both of these books are still in print. (Though each is in a new edition.)  You can get a look from their sample pages (the links under each picture) what I'm talking about beyond the pictures–and probably easier to read.
Instant Vocabulary
Vocabulary Builder
Notice how in the Ehrlich, all you get is a "key." The key is defined in bold without any explanation. Then you get some sample words that employ that key and their definitions. There is a little practice quiz at the end of each section that you will literally never do.

This is not a great way to learn. It's okay, and it'll do in a pinch, but let's look at the Merriam Webster.

You have the same basic idea to start. A prefix, suffix, or root. But instead of just the meaning you get its latin source, a little history and some sample words. They explain how the word shakes out in English. There are only four example words, but each one is not only defined but also the link to the root is explained, and there is a sample sentence.

This is a much more comprehensive lesson that is far FAR more likely to actually stick than Ehrlich's "keys." So if you have to get a vocabulary builder (though what most writers really need is to read more), and whether you buy an actual book or use some sort of online resource, get one like the Merriam Webster that has sample sentences, explanations, and history rather than just one that lists words and meanings.

Overall Value: 3 (Ehrlich)- 5 (Merriam Webster)


Saturday, November 4, 2017

Best Modern Fantasy (Semifinal 1)

What is the best fantasy book or series written in the last 25 years?   

Holy crap everyone. I mean HOLY CRAP are there some tough choices to make as we close in on the final round.

We've finally reached the semifinals and man-oh-man do we have some behemoths slugging it out.

Everyone will get three (3) votes. The top four titles will go on to the finals.

Now is the time to make one small reminder. Many of the books in question have some kind of adaptation to the screen. It's time to stress that while CGI dragons are goddamned spectacular, this poll is about BOOKS, and writing, and not about how much Peter Dinklage fucking rules. So please vote for the best book, not the best thing you've seen on DVD.

The poll itself is on the bottom left of the side menus, below the "About the Author."

Also, for fucks sake, I know there are a lot of people on WAW's Facebook Page and the laws of large numbers are starting to dictate that a certain number of people won't read anything but the preview text before commenting that oh how could their very favorite fave not be here, but please know that 1) this is only half the titles in the semifinal round ("Oh my god how could American Gods not make it????" It did. It'll be in the second semifinal.), 2) there were rules that disqualified titles that came out before 1992 ("Why isn't Wheel of Time on here?" Because it's not modern according to the definition of this poll.), and  3) there have been twelve rounds getting to here and that was after the epic-est nominations process I've ever seen and I controlled literally NONE OF IT, so if a title got voted off the island or never got nominated, I'm really sorry, but acting like it is a crime it isn't on this poll might make you look a little foolish.

For mobile users you click on "web page view" and then scroll ALLLLLLLLLL the way to the bottom.

These semifinals will only be up a little over a week (we're going to end up going into December despite all my hopes and dreams, so I might as well give people a little more time) That means that the IP logging will expire. Since I can't really stop shenanigans, I encourage it. Vote early. Vote often.

Friday, November 3, 2017

Best Modern Fantasy (Quarterfinal 4 Results)

What is the best fantasy book or series written in the last 25 years?

We've finally finished the quarterfinals!

I've had two last minute kerfluffles on top of a flu shot that did a day and change worth of crud this week so everything is just running behind. Tomorrow is a full day of "Job 2." And I mean a full day. The kind of day that starts first thing with trying to get a four year old dressed and fed and doesn't end until they collapse forward into their bed at day's end without changing into pajamas.

Still I preserve with the best of intentions. Today results. Early tomorrow I will slap up the first semifinal on my way out the door (finished tonight when I get home from last-minute-plan number 1). Sunday a "slow burn" article that has been sitting, mostly written, in the queue for like a week. Plus an admin post continuing my vainglorious attempt to catch up with how abominably behind I am there.

The top four titles will move on to the semifinals.

And thank you to so many of you for staying enthused about this poll despite it's riDICKulous number of rounds. I'll try to narrow things down in the future so we don't have a repeat of this nonsense.

Text version of results below

American Gods- N. Gaiman 185 40.84%
The Dresden Files- J. Butcher 103 22.74%
The Abhorson trilogy by Garth Nix 53 11.7%
The Inheritance Trilogy- N.K. Jemison 52 11.48%
The Lightbringer Series- B. Weeks 32 7.06%
Black Jewels Series- A. Bishop 17 3.75%
Radiance - Catherynne M. Valente 6 1.32%
East- E. Pattou 5 1.1%

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Best Modern Fantasy (Last Chance to Vote–4th Quarterfinal)

What is the best fantasy book or series written in the last 25 years?

Even evil Chrises who live in basements need to get their flu shots, but the one I got yesterday has really kicked my ass. (I've heard the strains in it are going to be extra nasty this year. Be sure and get yours!) No signs of an allergic reaction, just the cruddiest I've ever felt afterward. I have the memory of one that was this bad, but it's actually one of Chris's memories from seven or eight years ago that was imprinted onto me, and causes me existential angst to think about. (What are we if not memories.......)

It's auspicious timing though because we've got to finish our quarterfinal rounds and start the semifinals with enough time to finish this poll in November.

So you have one more day to vote. Tomorrow I will post the results of this poll and put up the first semi-final. 

Don't forget you get three (3) votes, but that there is no ranking, so using as few votes as possible is better.

The poll itself is in the lower left at the bottom of the side menus.

I'm told if you're on mobile you have to click "webpage view" then scroll alllllllllll the way to the bottom, you can find the poll.