My drug of choice is writing––writing, art, reading, inspiration, books, creativity, process, craft, blogging, grammar, linguistics, and did I mention writing?

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Voices in My Head (Herman Has Nothing on Me)

The Voice of My Mother- The voice of my mother is not my mother, but it's based on who she was twenty-five years ago. My actual mother is almost a completely different person today, but I still hear her voice from back then. It is the voice of caution, the voice of temperance.  The voice against impetuousness.  The voice that reminds me to cross my T's and dot my I's.  It is the voice of back up plans and budgets.  It's the voice that reminds me that I need medical insurance, dental and a retirement plan and THEN I can do the struggling artist bit. The double edge is that it is the voice that tells me I'll never make it.  It is the voice that tells me I haven't prepared.  Though sometimes it is also the voice that tells me to grow up and stop chasing my silly childhood dreams and thinking that making a dollar a day is okay.

Evil Italics Voice- One of the most pernicious voices inside my head is constantly telling me I can't do anything, shouldn't try, and that I'm no good at the things I do attempt.  Like the Shadows in Wraith: The Oblivion, this internal voice seeks only to make me let go and give up.  And it is really good at picking the most hurtful things to say in any situation and even interrupt me while I'm writing–  I'll take it from here Chris, since you can't really rub two words together to save your life.  I'm not even a little evil.  I'm the best thing that ever happen to Chris.  I keep his wanton ego in check.  If it weren't for me, he would actually think he is a capable writer with some measure of skill, and he would even go so far as to think that people want to read what he writes.  I make sure to keep those delusions of grandeur from putting him in a position where people will really tell him what they think.  I also remind him of his failings since he so often forgets them.  We all have our limitations.  Some more than others.  A few, like Chris, a LOT more than others.  See he literally doesn't comprehend how pretentious he is and that everyone around him is basically just humoring him.  I help him stay out of trouble.  I'm his guardian angel really.

Yeah, kind of like that.

More voices to come....


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  2. Oh, Og you have those voices too? I don't mind the Mom voice so much, but the EIV can really get me down. On the plus side, I also have a Sir David Attenborough voice which comes out and describes what I'm doing like I'm a shy mammal in a nature documentary.