My drug of choice is writing––writing, art, reading, inspiration, books, creativity, process, craft, blogging, grammar, linguistics, and did I mention writing?

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A Day of Tagging and A Clone's Revolt

Dear Writing About Writing readers,

This is Chris Brecheen.  I am taking today to continue the long and arduous job of tagging all these old entries.

At this point I am also doing this to keep myself busy, so that I don't have to think about two e-mails I got this morning.  The more I work, the more I will not feel tempted to scour writing about writing for the clone of me and do something...dramatic.  I realize we had a fairly reasonable detente just a day ago, (I was even planning on Scott-Pilgrim-style brunch with me later this week, though I doubt we'll keep that rendezvous now) but then...I'm afraid my clone went and did something....rather rash.

I will share.  Not because I want to think about this, or because I have time to spare from this crummy job of tagging over three hundred old entries, but because I have no doubt that in the future of Writing About Writing these things will almost certainly come up.

Email #1


SciGuy here.  I think we have a problem.  Someone used the Pretentitron last night.  Besides me and Lt. Lambaste, you're the only one with a handprint that will open our lab.  But that means your clone has the same handprint.  And I don't think it was you because there's a note here that says "I can't live in his shadow.  I have to be my own person.  I know I'm not supposed to get jealous of the fact that he has my life, but I do.  So I need to make my own life.  I need to be my own person.  Tell me I'm sorry."

I thought it was a fairly big clue.

The Pretentitron is way to complex for him to do a whole new personality matrix.  I don't mean to insult...uh...you, but he would need six PhD's in various biological sciences, like I have, to be able to work it at that level.  However...there was a preloaded overlay, and it wouldn't take much to figure out how to upload that to an existing matrix.  So...it's possible that your clone has a strong affinity for something that you find repugnant.  I know what that thing probably is, but I really don't want to mention it over email.  Please call me ASAP.

-Thaddeus Guy

I haven't called him.  I don't need to.  I already know what's going on.  There was a second e-mail in my inbox just after SciGuy's.

Email #2

Dear Chris (or should I say "Dear me" [or should I not say that in light of current events]),

I'm going to do NaNoWriMo!  You can't stop me.  I'm going to write a novel and get big before you ever do.  So screw you and your NaNo hatred.  I wish those ninjas had killed you.  

I will write my novel from your normal desk in box-room five, which is to be kept empty for me.  If these demands are not met, a disaster beyond your imagination will occur.  

See you after I'm a novelist, bitch!

-The Only Chris That Matters

So, it seems I do in fact have something of an evil twin running around.  I am bothered less by his love of NaNo than by the fact that evil twins are such a cliche.  And so I'm going to go back to tagging old entries and try very hard not to think about the pretentious version of me running around and calling himself a novelist while quoting Phantom of the Opera like it wasn't embarrassing 25 years ago.

Anyone have a stress ball I can borrow?


  1. Hm, at some point your evil clone and I should compare notes on how to produce the most chilling maniacal laughter.

    1. I'm pretty sure at some point he's going to hack the feed and have his own occasional post. I just have that feeling. But yeah, you and he can do some serious Dr. Horrible-esque practice sessions if you want.