Chris Brecheen- C.E.O. and Head Writer of Writing About Writing: Unlike the Non-W.A.W. Chris, this guy is actually cool, and unlike the resident evil clone, he doesn't live in a sewer and kidnap women--and is cuter. Oh sure, he might make the prudes uncomfortable with some threesome references, but they're just jealous. He runs the three ring cat circus around here, writing up many of the entries, whipping the guest bloggers into shape, and running the day to day business of replying to the deluge of hate mail. Pretty much he is thirty-one flavors and then some. All that and a bag of chips. And of course you can always check out his more complete bio here. And though some of you are surely thinking this was written by
Michael Dukakis- After a disappointing political career that started with a meteoric rise among the DNC and ended in a frustrating run for president against George Bush Sr. and a criticism-filled second run at being governor of Massachusetts. He joined Writing About Writing in 2012 to have something to do with his days and make a little extra spending cash. He is the first janitor to survive for more than a week. (Unfortunately, that's LITERALLY survive; the early history of Writing About Writing's janitors was not a pleasant one.) He really, really likes Elizabeth Warren.
Editors note- At least that's who he SAYS he is. I'm not convinced he's not just some random old dude. But at least he cleaned up the remains of thousands of dead ninjas and Octorians without complaining and doesn't mind that my administrative assistant leaves a slime trail wherever he goes. Michael has actually had more than one conversation with the cheese guy on the third floor (about something other than cheese).
Cedric- During the Octorian Wars, Chris ended up on the wrong side of the temporal event horizon for several days and befriended one of the Octorians. They went through a real trial and like every Enemy Mine/The Enemy ST:TNG trope they ended up realizing that they had a lot in common. Cedric helped Chris survive and get back to his own dimension, and then (because Cedric kind of liked pretentious artists) he stayed and has been working as Writing About Writing's administrative executive since.
He's a big fan of someone named Dor. The very name can invoke him to preternatural motivation regarding Writing About Writing's output.
The Strange Cheese Guy From the Second Floor- When we moved into the WAW compound we found the cheese guy already up on the second floor. Apparently he just lives all alone up there with his cheese. Since we haven't even moved beyond needing more than the first floor, we decided to just leave him alone. Sometimes he comes and shares cheese with us, but usually he's just up there by himself. The weird thing is, we don't know how he gets the cheese. None is ever delivered. It's not like we wouldn't notice a dairy on our second floor. And yet he constantly has a wide variety of fresh and stinky cheeses. We tend to see him a lot more when the articles are really flowing around here.
Above him (on the third floor) lives a velociraptor with a head mounted laser system. Because the Sci Guy was bored one day. So we consider the arcade "inaccessible" right now.
Grendel the Cafeteria Worker
It was probably a mistake to hire Grendel, especially since he can't really even take a joke without being almost violent in return. Everything is just a ridiculous escalation. But Grendel's mom works in the kitchen and she does make a really awesome Sloppy Joe sandwich on Thursdays. Plus, as terrible as Grendel is to look upon, he is incredibly diligent and doesn't complain about being paid in free hash browns coupons to McDonalds.
He's pretty hit or miss on wearing a hair net though. Which would be more of a concern if his head weren't sort of smooth and greenish.
A real whiz at writing lists. If there's a list here at Writing About Writing, he probably had a hand in it. Also something of a pedant and a perfectionist, but he'll tell me six good reasons I should shut up if I say that to his face.
And you won't believe number five.
Guy Goodman St.White
Guy is having sort of a tough couple of years. After the death of Lt. Lambaste during the attack of the Octorians, Guy had to face some pretty serious realities about the dangers of working for Writing About Writing, and hasn't dealt well. He kind of crawled into a bottle and stopped doing some of his signature posts examining all the genre crap in English canon.
I should probably check in on him.
If there's one thing Leela Bruce hates, it's shitty writing advice. She hates it so much that she beats the shit out of it in a segment that she promises will return now that WAW has gotten more women guest bloggers and isn't, and I quote: "a sausage fest."
While once working with Lt. Lambaste to run the Pretentitron, these days The SciGuy works in R&D trying to come up with a firewall that will protect us from the hacking of The Evil Mystery Blogger. Actually what he really does a lot of is trying to penetrate honeycombs of alternate universes to find the one in which Lt. Lambaste didn't die because she kissed him once. So I'm sure that won't end badly or anything.