People of the Earth:
I am Vizzthurg, the Vice General of the Octorian Fifth Column.
Your precious Writing About Writing is now under my control. Left completely empty, it was no trouble at all for an advanced strike team to commandeer key sectors and take over the entire facility in one quick and merciless strike. I now command the cultural headquarters of your inadequately defended planet, and I'm not afraid to use its vast mass communication capacity against you.
Each of your world leaders (with their ridiculous regional governments and no planetary oversight) will submit their surrenders to me and the Octortian empire. Do this, and your genocide will be quick and painless. Failure to do it, and we will begin broadcasting Yahoo Serious movies, The Jonas Brothers, Jersey Shore, postcard sized reproductions of Rothko prints, and excerpts of Sylvia Plath on all frequencies. Do not test our resolve on this.
This will be your only warning.
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