My drug of choice is writing––writing, art, reading, inspiration, books, creativity, process, craft, blogging, grammar, linguistics, and did I mention writing?

Monday, September 3, 2012

To the Readers of Writing About Writing

Cedric here:

My sincerest apologies for the last few days.  I turned off the Jonas Brothers broadcast, and I am currently cleaning up some of the mess my people left during their hasty retreat.  Chris should be back from his Incendiary Human Festival thing tomorrow, and he can probably better explain what is going on.  I'm afraid not even I know the totality of his plan, but I did as he asked me to do, and hoped for the best.

I would tell you I trusted in his wisdom, but....well, have you MET him?

Anyway, I will tell you what I told him a few weeks ago the last time a strike force tried to get to the Pretentitron and were killed by Lt. Lambaste and her Ubercannon.

Only a tiny handful of Octorians are capable of shifting their time space phase to enter this time space continuum.  It is technically a genetic defect that would be roughly akin to your male pattern baldness or color blindness, though possibly even less common.  The difficulty for the Octorian invasion has been to find capable soldiers who are also able to phase shift.  While it is little more than a stop gap to humanity's eventual total destruction, this obstacle has at least bought your race some time why they scramble to overcome it.  There are training facilities where hundreds of thousands of Octorians are screened for phase shifting ability and then begin to be trained if they have it.

One such facility was nearly about to launch an invasion, when pLink--an androgynous elf-like guy you sent back into our world nothing but a sword--managed to set them back by several months by basically murdering thousands of them.

However...as you know the Sci-Guy has perfected a near-instant cloning machine with a personality and experience matrix overlay in The Pretentitron.  If the Octorians ever got their hands on it they could clone as many genetically viable Octorians as they needed and program them with penultimate soldiery skills and experience, it wouldn't just be the occasional strike force we have to deal with.  Writing About Writing would become the staging point for a massive invasion force of highly seasoned Super Soldiers.  And believe me, our regular soldiers and their technology would be more than a match for your world's armies.

And now....well, now The Pretentitron is gone.  They took it with them back to their dimensional phase.  And Chris Brecheen is out in the Nevada desert finding himself or some shit.  And everyone else is on vacation until tomorrow.

And...I sure hope he knows what he's doing.

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