It has come to my attention that basically you all have, in fact, been keeping quite up to date with sending me everything I've asked for. With the exception of Guy Goodman, who is drowning himself in Scotch and who I'll be talking to later today, all of you have actually been doing quite well about getting me guest blog posts each month, and they've just been getting eaten by our Evil Mystery Guest Blogger. Now that the Trojan Horse computer program thing has been pulled from hard drives of the Writing About Writing computer network, I've come to discover all these old articles.
That means I owe a few of you an apology.
Leela Bruce, I'm sorry I kung fu fought you up and down the halls for three hours until you finally grew so tired that I was able to get a tentacle past your blocking zone. I'm sure that suction cup mark will heal. I'll lend you a cream that should help.
Ima Lister, I'm sorry I held you down with four tentacles and made you list off a different adjective for each smack I delivered you with the other four. I was impressed at the sheer scope of your vocabulary though--very impressive.
Guy Goodman St.White, I am less sorry that I did a spinning jump kick where I smacked you with all eight tentacles at in rapid succession, but I am a little sorry. It seems like you got me something, even though they were Scotch addled rants about "fucking Spencer and his fucking high fantasy bullshit."
I guess the good news is that we have all these backlogs of articles. If you guys want to take some time off like
Again, truly sorry about the beatings,