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Tuesday, December 23, 2014

A Christmas Story? (Mailbox)

Christmas themed stories?  

[Remember, keep sending in your questions to chris.brecheen@gmail.com with the subject line "W.A.W. Mailbox" and I will answer each Monday.  I will use your first name ONLY unless you tell me explicitly that you'd like me to use your full name or you would prefer to remain anonymous.  My comment policy also may mean one of your comments ends up in the mailbox, but likely only if you ask a question. And yes I will play along with your goofy games even if your e-mail clearly indicates that you are not actually Santa.]    

Lukas Asks:

In the spirit of the season, here's a question for you*:
How many Christmas-themed stories have you written?

*Yes, that counts as your present. I'm broke. What did you expect?**

**No, don't say threesomes. You always say threesomes.

My reply:

Lukas, I'm sorry, but if wanting Christmas threesomes is wrong, I don't wanna be right. If that means I have to have a persona that is a little like Groot or Hodor (except with the word "threesomes"), I regret nothing. Besides, it's not like I don't throw in a grammar joke or something here and there.

Once upon a time, I had a Christmas story. It was more of an anecdote really–one I had written for my Personal Narrative cla12@!ss–from the year I opened all the presents on the 23rd. (And I mean ALL the presents.) I was five or six, and there was a present that had torn, so I convinced myself that it would be okay if I opened it early.

The next thing I remember, mom was coming down the stairs, and the room....oh god, what had I done?

Anyway, that story got eaten along with many others by "The Great Dropbox Memory Purge of Twelve™", and I've had to console myself with a few surviving hard copies, things I had written on Google Drives and the fact that I was going to have to completely rewrite all of it anyway. Still, that was about twenty years worth of writing, so I'm a little cheesed off.  (There are very old versions on a zip drive but the current incarnations of word processor programs won't actually open them.)

So, unless we start adding in the primary school writing prompts that the English teacher threw out on the Fridays before the two week break just to give us something to do, the answer is a very qualified "one."

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