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My drug of choice is writing--writing, art, reading, inspiration, books, creativity, process, craft, blogging, grammar, linguistics, and did I mention writing?

Friday, January 2, 2015

The Hall of Rectitude

The Contrarian–Day 1
I no longer reside in the Hall of Rectitude. The Superhero sidekick project lost funding and I sometimes help out, but I am not allowed to take up any "Primary Hero Resources"

Uberdude- He's amazing. His superpower is being uber. Seriously uber--like, not just a little bit uber. The only problem is that he gained his powers by having experimental ferret DNA serum injected into his lymph nodes, so sometimes he gets really distracted around shiny things. You might think with a name like Uberdude, he is just raw muscle, but actually he's not. He's really good with computers. He doesn't kick villain ass so much as he programs robots to kick villain ass for him and algorithms to find them and stuff, and then he goes play some video games while crime gets fought in the background by his genius. In fact, if he could somehow program the crime fighting unit to be controlled remotely via his monitor in a way that makes it look like an immersive first person shooter game, he would probably end crime by 2020.  Completely.

Sonic Gal- I used to be Sonic Gal's official sidekick, which is to say I get out of her way when she's kicking ass and bring her beverages when she's tired from a hard day of fighting crime. She got the name because she's SO fast when she moves around that she just makes a streak and a sonic boom. She often fights crime so fast that she can leave from where we're fighting crime, fight some OTHER crime, and get back before I even notice that I'm not doing so well all of a sudden. She makes The Flash look like he took some Percoset, slammed four shots of whiskey, and smoked a J before every patrol. She's that fast.

The Contrarian- The contrarian joined The Hall of Rectitude in December of 2013 by being born. He has the psychic ability to contradict anything you say about him–though he has come to use his powers far less often after three years. For a while he was working on a super-drool power, but he gave that up to work on increased cuteness. His birth was quite the ordeal.

Wrecking Ball- Wrecking Ball showed up in 2013, right around the time I started having trouble finding the time to write. He is big and blunt (though not stupid) and often overreacts by punching through walls and furniture. He has used the Miley Cyrus song as his anthem despite several Cease and Desist orders and a lawsuit. He is especially fond of starting the music before he actually shows up and then timing his first hit with the "WRECK" in the chorus.




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