Thursday, June 15, 2017
The Return of the Mystery Blogger
SciGuy: Well, we...um....we ran out of cream.
Chris: Can't you make some more!
SciGuy: Well, yes. I can make some more....uh....cream. But....
Chris: Will the cream get burned up in the wall of fire?
SciGuy: Um...... That's not how any of this works. Look, here's what you need to know: I have fan-damn-tastic security countermeasures due largely to the fact that I don't want anyone to be able to find my porn stash, but as long as this Mystery Blogger is posting from computers at this facility, there's not a lot I can do. Those computers have clearance to post.
Chris: I interviewed the staff. It was very thorough. I asked each one of them in no uncertain terms if they were a turncoat traitor. Most of them threatened to beat me up or stop working for fast food coupons. I had to buy Leela Bruce a gift certificate for one of those squeezy stress balls in the shape of a brain. That's how upset she was.
SciGuy: All I can tell you is that it definitely came from the main level. Which it just so happens exonerates this lab.
Chris: So it wasn't the cheese guy or the evil clone of me who lives in the basement and "just loves" Nanowrimo. That's as much as we know?
SciGuy: Well it also wasn't the velociraptor with the laser attached to its head.
Chris: Well, FUCK, I'm really glad we narrowed that one down.
SciGuy: I might be able to put an access code onto every computer that would identify which terminal is sending the information. You could only give out the codes to each person for their own terminal.
Chris: Make it so.
SciGuy: Dude you are SO not Captain Picard.