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Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Worst Movie Adaptations (Nominations Needed)

We'll see you at the poll, undoubtedly shitty adaptation.
What is the worst movie adaptation of a book?

You've all seen them before. You sit down in the theater, excited to finally see a story you've loved come to the big screen, but within moments you think, "I wonder why they changed that." By the end you have a look on your face like someone told you that your mom had died in a vat of asparagus yogurt, your fist is clenched around a forgotten handful of popcorn (movie butter runs in rivulets down your hand), and every muscle in your body is tensed.  


"What. The. ACTUAL. FUCK!!!!!" you think.

Forget the great adaptations. This poll is about the shitty ones. Movies that are terrible compared to the book. Maybe they turn a short story about a guy who eats grass clippings into a movie about a virtual reality monster. Maybe they used the licensing to make a different movie that just had a name people would recognize. (I'm side-eyeing YOU World War Z. YOU!) Maybe they turned your favorite kids book into a movie about Mike Myers being a complete asshole for two hours.

The Rules

1- As always, I leave the niggling to your best judgement because I'd rather be inclusive. If you simply hated the changes they made to Insurgent (I mean why was it a box....?), you can nominate it, but there are probably a LOT of worse movies if you think about it. But this is not about shitty books made into shitty movies. This is about BAD adaptations. They don't necessarily have to be far from their source material, either. I know a lot of people who loved the book Dune and thought the 1984 Lynch movie was quite true to the source material, but it somehow just lost EVERYTHING in translation.

2- You may nominate two (2) book/movie combos. Remember that I am a horrid and unyielding power hungry demon who hates all life and free will here at Writing About Writing. To encourage reading and reading comprehension I will NOT take any book/movie combos beyond your second nomination.

3- You may (and should) second as many nominations of others as you wish. No book/movie combo will be going on to our poll that doesn't get at least one second.

4- Please put your nominations here. I will take books nominated as comments to this post on other social media; however, they may not get the seconds you need because no one will see them.

It's already May 6th, so this poll is going to go FAST. Get your nominations in in the next week!

Also there is only one week to vote in the BEST HEROINE poll so vote (or revote if it's been over a week) right away. 

41 comments:

  1. yes! World war Z and per FB Battle Field Earth

    i have not watched "The Seventh Son" (based off the YA series "The Last Apprentice") but i can only imagine...

    i have been told "A series of unfortunate events" was cringe worthy.

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  2. "I, Robot" featuring Will Smith robot hunter. Was it a fun action movie featuring robots, yes. Did it have anything to do with the book of the same name, no.

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    Replies
    1. I second I, Robot. Even the Bond franchise leaves in more of the original books than that.

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    2. Thirded - was coming here to nominate it!

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    3. Travis BrecheenMay 7, 2015 at 1:24 PM

      Fourthed

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  3. I don't know if I've ever seen any movie adaptations that I really hated, even if I do usually think the book was better. But probably the adaptation that I've disliked the most was Starship Troopers.

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    Replies
    1. Second, third, fourth... oh, how I hated that!

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  4. I'm probably going to catch heat for this, but Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire! The whole dragon scene was ridiculous! They just wanted to build action and play with CGI. It is my least liked of the series.

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    1. Seconded. I also disliked how they portrayed Apparition and Wizard Duels for the CGI. It should be disappear/reappear, not fly around like a weird ball of wizard smoke.

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  5. Oh, how could I forget The Hobbit!? 3 movies, really?? Adding characters and plot points? UGH!
    And the American version of "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" - they made it too short and far too tame. The European versions are amazing!

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    1. Oops, you beat me to it. I second "the Hobbit."

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    2. Okay - one more: Flowers in the Attic! Great book, horrible movie!
      May I suggest the next poll be books that were turned into great movies?

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    3. Can I "Third" the Hobbit? An abomination. Gratuitous introduction of material might have added screen time, but in the process it corrupted the book from a classic to a grotesque caricature.

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    4. Travis BrecheenMay 7, 2015 at 1:25 PM

      Fourthed

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    5. Fifthed for the Hobbit!

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  6. Bonfire of the Vanities with Tom Hanks, Bruce Willis, Melanie Griffith, and Morgan Freeman. For some reason, Brian DePalma thought the Tom Wolfe novel would translate well as a screwball comedy.

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    Replies
    1. Seconding this. Irredeemably awful.

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  8. The Lovely Bones was just terrible as a movie. Also, Ender's Game.

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    Replies
    1. I want to second Enders Game, though "they did as well as they could in the time allowed" was a friends response and it does make sense. I feel they missed out on opportunities to bring some of the magic of the book and missed out. I'm also confused about bringing Bean into Enders launch group, though I guess they needed to bring him in early due to time? And it lost something for having both kids he fought not die, though I feel weird advocating for character death.

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  9. The Seeker (adapted from The Dark is Rising)

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  10. Ella Enchanted - They took away the clever agency she was able to use in the book.

    Prince Caspian - Just so bad.

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  11. Brideshead Revisited, the 2008 movie. Hated it.

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  12. The Three Musketeers (2011). This was a travesty. Why anyone would attempt to make a Musketeers film when the 1973 film is soooooo good.
    How the Grinch Stole Christmas... putrid.

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    Replies
    1. I second "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" so long as this is referring to the 2000 travesty, rather than the animated 1966 classic.

      If this refers to the latter, well, there will have to be words.

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    2. Travis BrecheenMay 7, 2015 at 1:26 PM

      Third How the Grinch Stole Christmas

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  13. Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Also, while I know many will disagree, Coraline.

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  14. Contact (1997 adaptation of the Carl Sagan novel) - completely deleted some of my favourite bits, and utterly changed the message at the end of the story.

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  15. World War Z, definitely. I was NEVER so pissed off to spend money on a movie that left me feeling (in a bad way) like I'd gotten slammed in the head and suffered a renewed case of PTSD from the non-stop, unnecessary action because there absolutely was NO plot! (And the gaping plot holes they created trying to cobble a plot together. I would have been happier with 90 minutes of Brad Pitt just standing there in a mankini and flexing his muscles than that garbage.)

    And as much as I LOVED the movie, my second worst adaptation is Stanley Kubrick's The Shining. The movie, on its own, was good. As an adaptation, it failed miserably and went far afield. Also, the re-do a few years ago sucked just as badly, but at least it was truer to the book.

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  16. The Count of Monte Cristo - 2002 movie. This was so disappointingly not even close to the book. They made Edmond and Fernand friends, they did a terrible job covering the warm fuzzy of paying the Morrel's back for the good they'd done Edmond, his time in prison was poorly covered, and worst of all he not only ended up with Mercédès at the end but Albert was his son!
    I was also hugely disappointed in the Bourne film adaptations starting in 2002. They started the movie almost exactly like the book and I had high hopes, then they went in an entirely different direction. The following movies were not based on the books in a way I could relate to at all.

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  17. Travis BrecheenMay 7, 2015 at 1:29 PM

    Watchmen. The book was Not a period piece. And the alternate ending completely changed the meaning... but then none of the meanings of the novel were kept. And if there was no island then why was the comedian killed? And no pirates. Such a horrible adaptation.

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    Replies
    1. Seconded. It both damaged the parts that mattered and tried to be too slavish an adaptation of the comic. So much of it was shot-for-shot from the original material.

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  18. "I am Legend"
    the ending was just wrong. (though one of the DVD extras puts in the proper ending and fixes SOME of the issues with it)

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  19. Eragon was atrocious, and it did so poorly that there will never now be a decent movie made of the series.

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  20. Seconding Eragon. Can I third and fourth it as well? Truly horrific adaptation.

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